I am a NON whose been living with (and soon to be engaged to) a diagnosed HPD male.
I have a few questions about degrees of Personality Disorders and how the disorder changes, grows or declines with age/stability for those in relationships. Any help would be great.
My man was diagnosed with mild anxiety, mild OCD, and mild bi-polar. He has pretty poor impulse control issues. He was also diagnosed with HPD.
Can I assume there are varying degrees of HPD (like a sliding scale?)
My man definitely had major inappropriate sexual behavior ONLINE only. No confidence in person so no direct cheating.
My questions for pwHPD are this...
Do you find your disorder (as a whole) lessens, stays the same or grows as you get older?
Does your "audience" change as you age? Meaning, a very provocative and/or good looking 25 or 35 y/o pwHPD may get more attention/sex and opportunity than a 50 or 60 y/o pwHPD. How do you cope/adjust if the audience changes or depletes?
Do your attention seeking methods change? (Have you ever resorted to more extreme behavior IF the amount of attention changed, or did your drive diminish if the opportunities did)?
If you are in love (or married) do you still seek outside attention as much as if you were single or not in love?
Idealization phase- It wasn't always like this, however, NOW he is in the "idealization" phase. That's not what he calls it. He says he's just a guy who came to his senses, realized what he lost and will never revert back to what he was because he hated himself and his life, and wanted to die. (I'm under no illusions here. I know he may backslide at any point, but the optimist in me is hoping for the best.)
Can any pwHPD tell me how they viewed their partners in the beginning? Is the routine of a single attention source the "boredom" or is it more than that?
Are there any successful relationship stories out there?
I know all people and all pwHPD's are different. Mine is mostly appeasing, some infantile smattered with a smidge of vivacious. VERY low self esteem, and if he does something that hurts me, he feels it, and he feels it BAD, enough where he changes the behavior for my comfort. So far, everything's okay. He's in therapy. And yes, I know all of this can turn on a dime, no different than any other relationship, HPD or not.
Last question- to those with HPD who are going through therapy, what is your greatest challenge and your biggest accomplishment or breakthrough?
Thank you for reading, and helping this Non to understand.
