Genuinely Scared Due to HPD

I was diagnosed with HPD a year ago, after being hospitalized for my other previously diagnosed mental illnesses. Ever since, I've been trying to learn about what this means in relation to myself and how I react to other people, but I can't help but just be genuinely terrified for my future because of it.

A lot of the information I find is about how "cluster bs need to be avoided" and how the best thing you can do for someone who is HPD is to leave them. I'm only 17 (turning 18 in less than a month and leaving for college) and having these expectations of abandonment already makes me just not want to keep on going.

I have a huge amount of empathy, however. I've noticed that this is different than a lot of other cluster b folks I have spoken to. I believe I am capable of actually "feeling", despite what the negative depictions of my disorder say, but most people will know about these assumptions and I'm afraid I'm going to end up alone because of how desperate and needy I am.

I am conscious of my actions, and I am accepting of my diagnosis, but I've just got no hope that I can get any better or happier with the way I'm shaping up to be now.

Sorry for the ranting, but I'm just genuinely terrified for my future and I see no way out.

Hi zodiacc,

That is rather young to be diagnosed with HPD, but that aside...

What do you fear?

The truth is that everyone has personality traits, some spend their lives polishing those traits, some don't, but really nobody gets to be entirely free of their own personality challenges. Once you see everyone is struggling with something, we can relax some, knowing there is nobody walking around who isn't struggling with something too.