How Important Can Love Be if it is So Easily Manipulated?

I've been struggling with this. I feel like I loved my HPD, but knowing now that it was the result of manipulation, was it real love? If know that what I felt was the same feeling that I've felt in past genuine relationships; but this experience has made me doubt the value of love. It's made me doubt a lot of things. From "why am I here?" to "who took down the twin towers?" lol

Could you elaborate so as to provide a bit more information to digest, work with, and provide relevant feedback on?

9/11's a whole other story and opens up a massive rabbit-hole which one has to be well-equipped to dive into.
You gotta be made of tough material in order to swallow the deeply unsettling and illuminating (or obfuscating) revelations that ensue upon gradually uncovering the truth from behind this massive edifice which has been constructed upon seriously misleading foundations.

If "love" is something perceived to be subject to manipulation, is it truly love? I think not.

Hey connor,

Sometimes we think it is "love" but in reality it is a "fantasy bond." What I mean by this is that for some people the very idea of a restorative, healing, all encompassing love, is what they really love and yearn for and not necessarily the person itself.

If for some reason we feel a deficit in our lives, for what ever reason, we can become susceptible to falling and connecting to a "fantasy bond." The problem is, reality shatters our illusions or fantasy of what love is. There is no magic. Real life is much messier and murky.

We all have a tendency to "idealize". We can idealize people, careers, experiences, and even the concept of love. But once the idealization wears off, the day to day mundane routine kicks in, we can be left disillusioned. In my humble opinion, this is something that someone who struggles with Histrionic Personality Disorder deals with. Staying attached.

But love is not magical, or fairy tale like, or great all of the time, or butterflies, or intense. In addition, there are times, for whatever reason , we may love someone, but stop liking them for awhile. Think of someone who struggles with substance abuse, or depression. We may not like this part of them, but we still love that person. No fantasy, just real life.

However, if love is real, it is durable and not subject to quickly change. So do not give up on the value of loving someone. There is no better thing then to give and receive love, imo. But understand that love is actually a lot quieter then most would believe.

mark1958 wrote:Hey connor,

Sometimes we think it is "love" but in reality it is a "fantasy bond." What I mean by this is that for some people the very idea of a restorative, healing, all encompassing love, is what they really love and yearn for and not necessarily the person itself.

If for some reason we feel a deficit in our lives, for what ever reason, we can become susceptible to falling and connecting to a "fantasy bond." The problem is, reality shatters our illusions or fantasy of what love is. There is no magic. Real life is much messier and murky.

We all have a tendency to "idealize". We can idealize people, careers, experiences, and even the concept of love. But once the idealization wears off, the day to day mundane routine kicks in, we can be left disillusioned. In my humble opinion, this is something that someone who struggles with Histrionic Personality Disorder deals with. Staying attached.

But love is not magical, or fairy tale like, or great all of the time, or butterflies, or intense. In addition, there are times, for whatever reason , we may love someone, but stop liking them for awhile. Think of someone who struggles with substance abuse, or depression. We may not like this part of them, but we still love that person. No fantasy, just real life.

However, if love is real, it is durable and not subject to quickly change. So do not give up on the value of loving someone. There is no better thing then to give and receive love, imo. But understand that love is actually a lot quieter then most would believe.

Here, here, mark!
Splendid.

Beautifully captured in words.