HPD and sex life

Hey Monstergirl,

You may find that you cannot get over the online sexuality with others. One thing to keep in mind is our own perspective shift. What I mean is -

There is a considerable amount of media and sometimes day to day exposure to hyper sexuality. When we have no emotional investment in the people involved, we may approve for various reasons (but these reasons are worth understanding, because they may point out our own conflicted interests).

When we are not at the point of having any emotional investment in another we may also approve of them being sexual with us (ego boost!).

That can all change rapidly once we become emotionally invested in someone. The hyper sexual behavior that we once approved of can rapidly change from approval, but only if it is with us, and this is also worth exploring why.

There is also a period of time between when we first start down the path of meeting someone, and something longer term. If there is mutual interest, a lot of back and forth happens during that time. This is the time when the NON is likely to find themselves conflicted by a partner with a cluster B personality.

Impulsive behavior, it's that double edged sword. It definitely cuts both ways. Sometimes we approve (when it is in our interest), but the same impulsive nature can hurt too when not.

I suspect he loves you from what you've written here, and he is trying, as evidenced by his throwing out the sexual gear, so he must have some awareness of your feelings. Just it's going to be hard. If his primary instinct is to seek attention and approval, that isn't going away over night, and for your sake, once things are ducky, those drives may come back when/if his need for a safe relationship has reached a safe point. Maybe, but also maybe not. There is no way to know in advance, and he probably doesn't know either. Unfortunately, with real unaddressed HPD, boredom is likely to set in, and back to the search for new approval. This is the hard part, and only he can choose to introspect. Nothing you say or do can turn that on.

DDK wrote:Let's talk about sex here. I've got some questions for histrionics:

- How is your sex-drive? Bigger or lower than average?
- Do you dress up with sexual appealing clothes?
- Your first time happened early compared to people of your age in your social circle?
- Have you ever used sex as a way to manipulate? If yes, this happened frequently?
- Do the people around you call you a "whore," "slut" or another adjective of the genre? If yes, do you feel bad about it?
- Do you have any STD? Which one?

My sex drive is high
No not really
Kinda sorta not by choice though
Yes many times and yes sadly
No
I did I had clamydmia last year not too recent

DDK wrote:Let's talk about sex here. I've got some questions for histrionics:

- How is your sex-drive? Bigger or lower than average?
- Do you dress up with sexual appealing clothes?
- Your first time happened early compared to people of your age in your social circle?
- Have you ever used sex as a way to manipulate? If yes, this happened frequently?
- Do the people around you call you a "whore," "slut" or another adjective of the genre? If yes, do you feel bad about it?
- Do you have any STD? Which one?

My sex drive. Well, when entering a relationship its great, but as time goes on, its gone. Along with the thrill. I just can't be bothered anymore - but do, because hey, it keeps him near right?

I dress up when i need to, i never feel quite right or attractive, so i don't feel good unless people make me feel good, but yes i guess i go to some extent to show a little extra cleavage.

My first time was at 21, i had serious image problems and didn't go out of the house, i had a close circle of friends who put up with my tantrums, so sex wasn't really a thing that i needed to use to get attention. Guess that answers the next question too.

People, even my mother, have called me slut, whore, cheater... They aren't wrong. I carry a guilty conscious with me wherever i go.

No STD's to date.

Let's talk about sex here. I've got some questions for histrionics:

- How is your sex-drive? Bigger or lower than average?
- Do you dress up with sexual appealing clothes?
- Your first time happened early compared to people of your age in your social circle?
- Have you ever used sex as a way to manipulate? If yes, this happened frequently?
- Do the people around you call you a "whore," "slut" or another adjective of the genre? If yes, do you feel bad about it?
- Do you have any STD? Which one?

Sex drive is sort of average I would say
only on outstanding social events
yes, out of fear of being tagged a late bloomer
yes. I use sex as a means of establishing myself in the group. And then to keep me company. wow
I haven't acquired any stds yet

DDK wrote:Let's talk about sex here. I've got some questions for histrionics:

- How is your sex-drive? Bigger or lower than average?

Lower

- Do you dress up with sexual appealing clothes?

Yes

- Your first time happened early compared to people of your age in your social circle?

Yes

- Have you ever used sex as a way to manipulate? If yes, this happened frequently?

Yes and no

- Do the people around you call you a "whore," "slut" or another adjective of the genre? If yes, do you feel bad about it?

No they don't

- Do you have any STD? Which one?

No....

Nm. Not something I care to discuss.