Uhmm...

by PQ » Wed May 16, 2007 9:00 pm

Anyone care to comment on the HPD's use of "Uhm" as compared to other sociopaths? I'd reckon they don't truly lack empathy unless they have comorbidity with NPD. I think their extremely severe disturbance of empathy is derived impurely from some component of attention-deficited behavior, jealousy, and the failure to recognize other's personalities from their own.

They really ought to rename it "Personality Indistinguishable Disorder" or something of the likes.

Edit: To reconcile, I'm implying the use of "Uhm" indicates a state of nervousness. Doesn't it seem likely an HPD can actually feel shy while not acting an ounce of it? I've heard someone I think is HPD claim to feel very shy around people she "liked".

My HPD certainly seems to feel nervous at times, but he doesn't recognize it as such; he just says he feels "keyed up" or something.

As for shy...it's hard to believe he ever feels shy. There are times he might be quiet and more hesitant, but I think it's because he's sizing up the audience to determine what script to play. Or, he's depressed because he can't be the center of attention in the particular situation.

And the lack of empathy - I don't know what causes it, but it seems to be part of their basic construction.

by PQ » Fri May 18, 2007 1:57 am

Roni wrote:My HPD certainly seems to feel nervous at times, but he doesn't recognize it as such; he just says he feels "keyed up" or something.

As for shy...it's hard to believe he ever feels shy. There are times he might be quiet and more hesitant, but I think it's because he's sizing up the audience to determine what script to play. Or, he's depressed because he can't be the center of attention in the particular situation.

And the lack of empathy - I don't know what causes it, but it seems to be part of their basic construction.

Well, under extremely rare circumstances, HPDs are known to feel actual empathy.

As for the shy part, I think nervous is a more likely word. We'll use that.

by **digital.noface** » Fri May 18, 2007 5:25 pm

You know, perhaps semi-related, I get all choked up and 'stage frightened' when I try to public speak. Even in front of groups of 5 or 10 people. Yet, at the same time, I can (and have) acted in front of 14 000 people without skipping a heartbeat. It is weird. I can act just fine, but cannot public speak. It has to do with my frame of mind. When I am acting, I am entertaining, and playing a character. When I public speak, I am informing, and playing myself.

I usually overcome this by 'acting' during public speeches. It works just fine, as long as I remember to do it (and prepare or improvise a character and an act).

by **Roni** » Fri May 18, 2007 5:53 pm

Interesting point, Digital. You've made me think of how this might relate to my HPD.

I've often mentioned that my bf puts on "shows" or "plays a script" but I never thought of it as having to do with the discomfort of just being himself in front of others. Maybe to him, anytime he is with other people, even just friends or out somewhere, it's like public speaking. Maybe he's never comfortable just speaking as himself - possibly because he doesn't know who he is under the surface? Remove the thespian's mask and there's nobody behind it??

by **SIAFC** » Sat May 19, 2007 12:38 am

This subject really freaked me out. The very last email my ex-HPD sent me before I announced I was divorcing her included several "Uhmms..." Really. She actually wrote them, not said them. As in, "Uhmm... I was just saying that, uhmm... we could do the bills this way if you want, but.... uhmm... I know that you probably don't want to." It would be a lot more amusing if it didn't really happen.

by PQ » Sat May 19, 2007 5:05 am

SIAFC wrote:This subject really freaked me out. The very last email my ex-HPD sent me before I announced I was divorcing her included several "Uhmms..." Really. She actually wrote them, not said them. As in, "Uhmm... I was just saying that, uhmm... we could do the bills this way if you want, but.... uhmm... I know that you probably don't want to." It would be a lot more amusing if it didn't really happen.

I believe this a common element of hysteria (bipolar, histrionic, borderline, etc). Opinions?

by **ccumm36D** » Sat May 19, 2007 10:13 pm

That is strange to write in pauses like that.

Maybe that's just an idiosyncrasy of hers or maybe it's another way to garner some sort of attention.

Then again it could just be a simple as exhibiting her shallowness. A classic HPD trait.

by **SIAFC** » Sat May 19, 2007 10:49 pm

I just think it showed her adolescent behavior. She wasn't capable of having an adult, meaty conversation about our relationship. Or about anything, for that matter. She was a perpetual 16 year-old.

by **mark_8621** » Thu May 24, 2007 1:07 am

Mine never uses ummm.... apparently she is little more articulate.

Uhmm...

Uhmm...

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