I had a relationship end four months ago that I'm still reeling from.
My dismay about how it all ended led me to search the internet for what possibly could have gone wrong and I found this forum.
I know that this forum can't offer any official diagnosis but I'd like your opinions on whether or not this girl sounds like she could have had HPD
About her:
- 27 years old
- comes from a dysfunctional family. Her and her mother are very close (more like friends than mother and daughter) and her mother hates her father. I'm not sure if the father even still lives with them but I know they're still married. Ex gf slept in the same room as her Mom.
- She was very vague about her past. Didn't talk much about her family or past relationships
- She seemed very bitter and angry at the world. Disillusioned might be a better way to put.
- She told me how she could be very mean to other people. These were people from the past at school or even sometimes strangers in public. I forget the details of some of these stories but they did take me aback a bit when I heard he casually talk about how mean she could be to others and chuckle while she did so. It was almost as if she was embarrassed but in a way that made her laugh as opposed to being ashamed or remorseful.
- She took pride in the fact that she could "be mean". She wore it like a badge of honor which led me to believe deep down she was really hurting.
- The first year of our relationship I could do no wrong. We never fought, she bought me things, sex was on demand. I had to get a gum graft done at the dentist office 5 months into our relationship. She insisted on coming and after the surgery when I found out I had a problem with my insurance covering the procedure, she asked if she could call and speak to the insurance company on my behalf, which I thought was odd. I mean we had only been dating 5 months..
- Around 6 months I forgot her birthday and she didn't get mad. This is a girl who was outright boastful about being mean to others and not taking any crap from people, but didn't seem at all bothered that I forgot her birthday.
- I met her friends and she seemed like a different person. I'm not talking about her emotions or level of happiness changing, I'm referring to how her voice sounded like another person. It was strange.
- The first time we broke up, after a year, she acted unfazed by it which really hurt because I was so sad we broke up. I called her up to try and reconcile and, again, it sounded like I was talking to another personality on the phone, not the sweet, kind caring girl I knew for a year.
- After we had been back together for 2 months after our first break up, we had a huge fight and she dumped me the next day. A day before she told me how much she loved me and that "I didn't have to be perfect because I was perfect" for her. A day later after the fight, she's done with me.
- I begged and pleaded for her to take me back which at one point had her threatening to call the cops on me. I couldn't believe when she said that. This girl was head over heels for me for about a year (her and her mom even cooked me Thanksgiving dinner) and now she's threatening to call the police on me?
Does this sound like HPD? She was so sweet and caring towards me for the longest time. I always found this odd as,again, she bragged about how she could be so mean to others and even her friends described her as someone who could be "very feisty". To go from her bending over backwards to care for me to threatening to call the cops on me was overwhelming. Again, it's been 4 months since this break up and I'm just starting to feel a bit better.