i think i might be a histrionic, need advice/insight

Hi all, this is my first post here and I've been reading through the symptoms of hpd for some time now to get a better understanding. Let me start off by saying that I'm a 21 year old male college student I am currently seeing a psychiatrist predominantly due to adolescent depression (hospitalized twice) and severe ADHD. I am only talking to him once a month now due to medication prescription but I feel it isnt enough. I don't think I really trust him and feel like he's trying to dodge a diagnosis because he just doesn't want to have to deal with it. (I have paranoid thoughts lol). The problem I am having is mostly with other people and I have a lot of trouble with relationships both forming and maintaining. I am an ashamed virgin who has never had a girlfriend because I used to have a lot of social anxiety and just didn't know how to talk to people, literally. Like I never knew what to say to someone when I was in highschool. It SEEMED like it was a very mild case of Aspergers to put it into perspective, things are much better now, but I still feel things aren't right ever since I got out of high school. I suffered what I believe to be a tremendous amount of emotional abuse from peers, (NOT parents, they were good to me at least). I was criticized on a regular basis, manipulated, lied to, ridiculed, excluded, ignored etc. I have become more self aware now due to becoming very introspective after a friendship ended and I realized I was just a resentful mean person. I had to make some changes and I've learned to be friendly because apparently i didn't realize that thats what your supposed to do when around people (yea I felt pretty stupid about it).
Anyway, I feel like I'm a histrionic primarily because I have very poor self image (I have been told that I'm not being myself) and it seems like my poor self esteem is only based off the approval and acceptance of others. I really feel the need to have everyone noticing me, I get upset when a cute girls on campus walks past me and doesn't look at me, I feel entirely inferior to a lot of people and feel unloved and unappreciated because my friendliness isn't yielding me any friends. I feel as though I'm on the outside looking inward, I idealize and devalue some people, not as much as I used to though, I dress somewhat loud to get compliments and attention, like I'll wear a loud shirt and I always wear a colorful hat. I seem to exhibit feminine characteristics as well and I like to make people feel bad (manipulatively) when they criticize or degrade me ( I HATE IT when people do that).
I think I tend to awfulize my problems because maybe I'm dramatizing them instead of seeing how they really are, I am pretty self critical. I can be easily influenced by some people, and I am concerned that people think my emotions are shallow and not genuine. I can be very emotional at times and I just feel that people don't believe me when I try to exhibit goodwill and empathy. I don't know if I'm seductive or provocative per se but i do try to charm women when I can in the hopes that I can form a friendship/relationship with them.
The thing that gets to me the most because I feel that it happens unconsciously is lying about things to get attention and I end up just playing the victim and trying to make people feel sorry for me and opening up to people about my problems (people that I am sort of close to, not like acquaintances). It seems to happen automatically and I have trouble stopping it from happening.
I'm not looking for a diagnosis because that's not possible here, I just am very lonely and feel that I can't relate to anyone. I guess I just want anyone (hopefully some hpds) to chime in on this and maybe just give their opinions and advice. One question I do have is can a personality disorder (hpd) develop from abuse from peers in adolescence or is it always a childhood event? I remember when I was young (like 5) I always loved getting sympathy and being nurtured. My father didn't spent a whole lot of time with me, my mom was my primary caretaker. Maybe that could explain a lot. If you need more info to get a better understanding please don't hesitate to ask!
Much love.

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