Closure to HPD ex

Thankful to psychforums to help with closure. My HPD ex abruptly ended 4 year relationship and wants 90 day divorce for physical cruelty. Which she fabricated I was very distraught first 30 days. Felt like I couldn't go on. But maybe God led me here. I read the stories of other people in my shoes then started to understand better but never understand completely, but I'm finding closure. The stories are identical , crazy. My only dilemma is the nonbiological child. He needs me. Can I be there for him safely? Should I be there? Can I be there? Up to God and legal system. But I am going to try. If no contact continues with child and my name is removed then I am asking to be reimbursed for child delivery of 50,000 and care for last two years. Then her maiden name Can go on. She obviously has Daddy issues. Why she doesn't have a heart for me or son is beyond me. Kid loves and adores me. He feels safe w me. I love him as my own. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Hello Foolsgold,

Not sure if this question is directed to those with HPD or is open to any. But from a non perspective, I can only speak from my heart.

I have asked this question to myself; If I were in your shoes what would I do? Unfortunately I came up with more questions then answers.

Can I do It? This is a two part question, can you both legally and emotionally. Legally: This is up to her and the legal system. Would they allow this? What would your "support" look like? How much care and support could you provide? How long? And is it legally binding, no. It is a casual promise. How do we hold people to promises?

A legal expert would be much help in this regard. Perhaps talking with one (I am sure you are) is the answer. Some type of formal arrangement then.

Emotionally: Can you hold up? Is caring for the child a way to stay around her because you love her? Is this healthy for you? What happens if you fall in love with being a father here? And then she leaves, out of state or country etc.

Should you do it? If this in your heart, then do it. Only you can decide this for yourself. The child is going to need someone to care for him? Why not play a role here? I think I would if I were in your shoes.

However, this will not be easy. You have financial and emotional needs as well. You have other children. Can you provide financial support for everyone here, including yourself? In addition, what happens when you want to move into another relationship. Can another woman understand this?

Lot of questions with no easy answers. I am going to put an unfair thought here to you. Someone has to stand up and care. Right!