So I got diagnosed with HPD today...

So after seeing my therapist for quite a few visits, she put to be that I have a disorder and he says I have HPD.

Which she then gave me some reading material and I have digested it all and It appears I have all the symptoms to some level or another...

On one side I am kind of glad there is a 'thing' that identifies me, on the flip side Its a little concerning to see that treatment seems difficult due to the patient getting bored and moving on.

In terms of my relationships I certainly struggle to maintain them and meeting new people is always attractive to me...

I am wondering if there is a more private section of this forum where we who are actually diagnosed can share the nitty gritty with only those who are... (or at least bother to say they are)

Thanks

i think you've made a huge leap just going out and seeing a therapist. if my 'gf' would do this as she promised, we'd be moving along instead of mired in circular arguments.

If i can help you I will; at first i could barely tell the difference between the lies from her as an HPD and the lies I was being fed by a true sociopath. Patience, trying to be non-judgmental, and love are what got us this far. If we make it to the 6 month mark i'd be surprised. Kudos to you for reaching out!

Hi Maple,

There is no extra private forum. It is your choice if you wish to share more or not under the umbrella of anonymity, but of course there is risk that someone who doesn't understand becomes critical. That written...

As a reminder to others who do not have HPD, this forum is fine to read, ask some generic questions, even be supportive, but the forum really is meant for support for this with HPD (so they can share with each other without the criticisms). We have the Relationships and Significant Others, Family & Friends forum for others who need support.

Hi,

I guess my questions raised are most people who frequent this section those with the disorder or are they those who are their significant others who are affected by it?

Also are there any other men, I was told its typically a female dominated disorder but if was clear in my case I was one of the few men..

I would just to to talk with those who are also facing what I am face, how they deal with being honest with themselves. how they deal with grief, loss.

How they make good lives for themselves....

MapleDropbear wrote:Hi,

I guess my questions raised are most people who frequent this section those with the disorder or are they those who are their significant others who are affected by it?

Also are there any other men, I was told its typically a female dominated disorder but if was clear in my case I was one of the few men..

I would just to to talk with those who are also facing what I am face, how they deal with being honest with themselves. how they deal with grief, loss.

How they make good lives for themselves....

Hey Maple,

as a starting point I'd suggest you to scroll through past threads...I did this in the beginning, when (as a NON) I wanted to gather knowledge about the disorder.
Not the quickest thing to do but...no pain, no gain

Also, interesting academic documents about the disorder are these:
http://www.maretwebproject.com/users/do ... rionic.pdf
http://www.universitypsychiatry.com/cli ... _PICPs.pdf

Hope I was of help.

Thank you!

The articles Fr linked are clinical, but informative and worth a read for sure.

There is often some extended self-esteem trauma that a person with HPD has undergone while growing up, trauma that is damaging and not dealt with because it hurts too much to go through those feelings. Plus because HPD types can be the 'life of the party' for a time, the coping mechanism is reinforced.

It definitely takes a lot of courage to stop the cycle.

Male. Not diagnosed but at some point it became too obvious to overlook.

Not many men get diagnosed HPD for the same reasons not many less attractive women get diagnosed. We all seek "histrionic incentives". It's automatic. We might have a really hard time even noticing it. We all take the path of least resistance.

That clinician expectations are so narrow and sexist is appalling. I've noticed that some credible individuals in the field think of HPD as a trash bin diagnosis for certain types of women, a demeaning label psychologizing women who are "too liberated" sexually and frankly I can't blame them. As with BPD. Bringing up the possibility of BPD with one therapist i was told, "IF you were female, and IF I thought you were borderline.." he'd have had me fill out the relevant tests and then refer me to a specialist if needed. IF I were a female and IF he were willing to even consider it.

Anyway, just chiming in. And taking the opportunity to brag about getting the friend zoning and extraordinarily dishonest and hurtful seduction under control. It's been a trip, the looks on the faces of healthier people I've communicated parts of that struggle to have been priceless. As far as women who have an unshared interest in a relationship go, I'm almost completely defanged as an emotional vampire.

sibrii wrote:Anyway, just chiming in. And taking the opportunity to brag about getting the friend zoning and extraordinarily dishonest and hurtful seduction under control. It's been a trip, the looks on the faces of healthier people I've communicated parts of that struggle to have been priceless. As far as women who have an unshared interest in a relationship go, I'm almost completely defanged as an emotional vampire.

Just out of curiosity...how's your family history?

sibrii wrote:Anyway, just chiming in. And taking the opportunity to brag about getting the friend zoning and extraordinarily dishonest and hurtful seduction under control. It's been a trip, the looks on the faces of healthier people I've communicated parts of that struggle to have been priceless. As far as women who have an unshared interest in a relationship go, I'm almost completely defanged as an emotional vampire.

I am so stoked for you man! Yeah I am seeking help and tracking when I do things which bring attention to me or I am overly emotional to people to get them to like me and then when I have them I tend to move on. I am single by choice at the moment but seeing one person regularly. Still playing as well which keeps things fresh and that new feel. I don't know where anything will lead but I am actively trying to not lie to anyone about how much emotional investment I can give them.

Fr4nz83 wrote:Just out of curiosity...how's your family history?

I am not sure what your line of questioning is about? it almost feels like trolling on a support page and not very productive.... :/

And in terms of play, some of us HPD are very VERY good at what we do simple because practice makes perfect and we're obsessed with being liked so that means we are very giving in the bedroom...