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Question regarding HPD

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Question regarding HPD

Postby Jammo1989 » Sun May 08, 2016 7:41 pm

Could someone please give some information or an insight into this, personal experience,etc

If HPDs crave attention, then why do they push us away to the point of being blocked and banished from their lives. Surely if the attention is there they would cherish it or at least hold onto so why do they contradict themselves?
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Re: Question regarding HPD

Postby xdude » Mon May 09, 2016 10:42 am

Hi Jammo,

Personal opinion here (i.e., not fact), but I think it's a simplification to say that HPD is strictly about seeking attention. It's just the aspect that is most visible to others, but it's not the entire set of feelings, beliefs, perceptions, etc., that the person with HPD feels and thinks.

That written, it's worth pondering that BPD and NPD types also may go through the idealization and devaluation phases with others, and that cluster B disorders exist on a spectrum. In terms of attention specifically, of course there is the obvious ego boost, but I think at least a few factors are also key -

1.) It's probably more correct to say that 'new' attention, or 'quantity' of attention is a motivator.

2.) That attention can be motivated by the need to be in control of what is going on around the person with this disorder; i.e., if you are busy focused on me, I am in control of what is going on around me.

3.) Attention seeking can also be a method to keep the person's focus off their own true feelings, and focused on 'the show'; i.e., also a mechanism to control self.
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Re: Question regarding HPD

Postby hpd-kitten » Tue May 17, 2016 12:18 pm

Being hpd myself I often get really annoyed with the people I get attention from give others attention.
And this annoys me (that I feel that way) so I push them away so I dont feel rejection and dependence to that person.

Theres also a symptom of BPD and other cluster b disorders which we call "splitting" which is seeing someone as great or terrible with no in between. So its possible for them to push you away because they feel like you did something wrong even if you dont think you did.

I hope that makes sense.
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Re: Question regarding HPD

Postby len71 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 7:26 pm

I don't mean to offend anyone, but I have a question concerning splitting is it all of the sudden type a thing or is it a subtle slow creep and then it's a split from white to black or black to white.

Do you notice with yourself whether there's any signs of it coming on that you feel.

Are there any signs your coming out of it.
Is there anything a NON -black can do to help get split white.

I'm currently in the black based on what I understand of this whole disorder and this person is 1800 miles away there's a little bit a contact here and there seeking validation or approval, or circular conversations, but I'm waiting for the split to come back to white to me.

She's left every door open to come back but I don't know what to do other than just sit and wait.

Any insight..from the HPD perspective. She is diagnosed and best described as passive agressive. I just need some insight.
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