Why HPDs enjoy breaking hearts: sadism or proof of love?

This is a question about that set of HPDs who enjoy breaking hearts. I'm not talking about indifference to breaking hearts, or the joy that comes with revenge, but enjoyment of breaking a heart per se.

Why do they/you enjoy it?

Is it simply sadism? Is it seen as the ultimate proof that they/you are indeed loved, and therefore a potent source of supply? Or is it something else?

It is a difficult for me to understand, because it seems to me that even someone who lacks empathy should avoid breaking hearts out of self interest so as not to create enemies and put her reputation at risk.

I would especially appreciate input from HPDs.

Hi,
I'm not HPD so I can't help you; but it's an excellent question. I eagerly await the replies from the HPD sufferers.

I guess it is more like a proof of love, a kind of narcissistic supply. Once they have assured themselves they are loved they may forget the person for one reason or another.

I posed this very question to the ?maybe? HPD woman I fell in love with. Is it about proof that you are lovable? I didn't get nor did I expect an answer, after all this is not something you answer, but I asked it not for answer, but for for her to reflect and for me to ponder what could I live with.

Months after my affair with my ex-HPD ended, i somehow ended up going on a date with her (like nothing had happened). At the end of the night she confessed to me, in a drunken/high dissociated state, that she was actively involved in sabotaging the 'relationship' and that she liked 'games' and the way i 'played-along'. Then after i refused to admit my love to her (i wouldn't grant her the satisfaction after what she just had said) heavy devaluing followed which to me sounded more like projections of herself onto me. She then proceeded to, more or less, sexually assault me. Such a lovely evening.

Ironically though, the days after i felt some sense of reassurance in her confession. It meant that i was NOT imagining things at the time we were dating. That feeling didn't last long though as it soon was replaced with anger of having being treated that way with all the pain as a result.

But looking back on it now, i think she sensed i was withdrawing from the affair and stopped ideolizing her unconditionially anymore (which i was, it was clear she wasn't exactly relationship material, especially because i found these forums and learned about HPD just prior to those events). Instead of dealing with the situation, which involves of some sort of opening up emotionally, the easy way out for HPD's is to, first, find new sources of supply (if not already there) and then create some sort of passive-aggressive drama so they just can avoid the confrontation (not only with the partner, but also with there own imperfection).

Long i figured this was due to a total lack of empathy, and i'm not doubting empathy is certainly an issue, but i also think it's just due to the fact that a HPD/BPD can be totally overwhelmed with their own emotions which results in the fact that there simply isn't more room to consider the perspective of the significant other.

So all and all, i don't think HPD's particularly enjoy the process of breaking hearts, or are malignent in their core. What could be the case though is that somehow they feel rejected, which may justify their actions in their mind.

I ended up eventually arriving at more or less the same thoughts re: being so consumed by ones own emotions that there is no room for others. HPD is mucked up though by outward and initial appearances that are contrary to that belief.