sex and love addiction

miss_anonymous wrote:Is there a correlation between SLA and histrionic personality disorder?

Sexual and Marital Problems

The histrionic patient usually has disturbed sexual functioning, although
there is considerable variation in the form this takes. In the
woman, partial frigidity is a reaction to the patient's fear of her own sexual
feelings. Also, sexual excitement interferes with her use of sex to
control others. This fear is reflected in her hostile, competitive relation-
ships with women and her desire to achieve power over men through
seductive conquest. She has great conflict over these goals, with resulting
sexual inhibition. Other patients are sexually responsive, but their
sexual behavior is accompanied by masochistic fantasies. Promiscuity
is not unusual, because the patient uses sex as a means of attracting and
controlling men.
The man whom the histrionic woman loves is quickly endowed with
the traits of an ideal, all-powerful father who will not make demands on
her. However, she always fears losing him as she lost her father, and
consequently, she selects a man whom she can hold because of his dependent
needs. She may marry "down" socially or marry a man of a different
cultural, racial, or religious background, both as an expression of
hostility to her father and as a defense against her oedipal strivings. In
this way she substitutes a social taboo for the incest taboo. The group
who marry older men are also acting out oedipal fantasies but have a
greater need to avoid sex. Another dynamic mechanism that often influences
the choice of a mate is the defense against castration fear, expressed
by selecting a man who is symbolically weaker than the patient.
The male histrionic patient also has disturbances of sexual functioning.
These include potency disturbances and Don Juanism. In each of
these, there is often an intense neurotic relationship with the mother.
Like the female patients, they have been unable to resolve their oedipal
conflicts.
It is often observed that the histrionic patient and obsessive-compulsive
patient marry each other, seeking in the partner what they are lacking
in themselves. The histrionic patient provides emotional expressiveness;
the obsessive-compulsive patient offers control and regulations.
Typically, the partner of the female histrionic patient is obsessive, with
strong passive-dependent trends. These latter traits are not recognized
by either party, and particularly not by the histrionic patient, who sees
him as a selfish, controlling tyrant who wants to keep her a prisoner.
There is usually some degree of validity in this perception, because the
partner views her as a status symbol because of her attractiveness, seductive
behavior, and appeal to other men. Unconsciously, he views her
more as an ideal mother who will gratify both his sexual and dependent
needs while he remains passive. The relationship may be stormy and often
soon leads to mutual disappointment. Interpersonal conflicts have a
characteristic pattern: The woman is angered by her partner's cold detachment,
parsimony, and controlling attitudes. He becomes irritated
with her demanding behavior, extravagance, and refusal to submit to
his domination. In their arguments, he attempts to engage her through
intellectualization and appeals to rational logic. She may initially en-
The Histrionic Patient • 145
gage in his debate but soon becomes emotional, displaying her anger or
her hurt feelings of rejection. The partner either withdraws, feeling bewildered
and frustrated, or erupts in a rage reaction of his own. Both
parties compete for the role of the "much-loved child." Because she has
selected a man who will not desire her as a woman and an equal partner,
she has no choice but to shift alternately between being his mother and
his child.
The female patient usually reports that her sexual life deteriorated
after marriage, with loss of desire for her husband, frigidity, or an extramarital
affair. The relationship with her husband leads to disillusionment
as she discovers that he is not the ideal man of whom she had
dreamed. In her frustration and depression, she retreats to romantic
fantasies. This often leads to the fear of impulsive infidelity, which, if it
occurs, further complicates her life with added guilt and depression.
Flirtatiousness and seductive charm are reparative attempts that fail to
enhance her self-esteem, leading to additional disappointment. Similar
patterns occur with the male histrionic patient who becomes disillusioned
with his partner and either develops potency disturbances or
pursues new and more exciting partners.