Two-faced

This is kinda following up on lalaland's post about support groups. I also experience the "invalidation" (excuse the psychobabble) of others around my HPD not seeing the behavior that he exhibits toward me.

Others do see him as "a character" and moody at times. But he doesn't show them the sudden hostility, cold heart, and extreme inconsistency that he shows me. My close friends have an idea of it, just because I tell them details of our interactions at times. But I've mostly stopped even talking to friends about it because I'm sure they get tired of hearing about it and I even get tired of talking about it.

The validation is one reason that this forum has been so helpful to me. You guys know what it's like because you have had similar experiences. You also get the ways that being in these dysfunctional relationships messes with our heads.

I guess there are pros and cons to on-line support vs. in-person support. It certainly would be interesting to meet all of you in person! Although I can think of a couple of guys that we might have to keep separated

Hey Roni - I totally agree...I get the same "invalidation" from my friends and the HPD is seen by them as just "her way" of doing things - and that she's somewhat of a "social climber" and a big flirt, but harmless otherwise. When I bring up Histrionic Personality Disorder, I sense my friends wanting to shut me down about it...they just roll their eyes. Overall, it's not just my invalidation, but the invalidation of psychology in our everyday lives. No one would question if someone had a severe cold and had to see a doctor, but if someone routinely behaves odd, it's not seen as a mental health issue that should be treated, it's just who they are.

This current HPD that I know is starting to disrupt my relationship with my other friends now...it's the second time the HPD's gone "around me" and quickly gotten to know my friends...and as soon as she does, she drops me like a hot potato. When I complain that this HPD is so disloyal, my other friend who is now "hypnotized" (as Bernstein would say), just thinks that I'm being unreasonably finicky. But now I know the cause of the culprit's disloyalty is HPD, and no one will believe me. I feel very much in a catch-22 and am unfairly made into the "heavy" now by my friends, and I feel I should just dump my friends and let them figure it out themselves. It's very frustrating, and it would be nice to be able to talk to people who understand in some sort of support group setting. I've googled around, and just have not found anything like an Al-Anon equivalent for PDs, even in as large a metropolitan area as LA.