Is this a bigger problem in the western world?

Noone take offence to this but having come out of a scary HPD relationship and wanting to understand more I got thinking about a few things... and I guess this would apply equally to male HPD/NPD.

My HPD at work always came across as a nice sociable girl. Shes known as a flirt but the extent to which she has slept around and manipulated guys for attention is unknown by most ppl. When Ive come close to confronting her about everything shell pull the 'I dont have to justify myself' and 'I dont have to explain anything'. It comes across as very girl-power, in control, brave, live for the moment, do what i want, i dont give a fk attitude.

And these are ideals that in the us and europe are heavily applauded in certain circles... mixed in with an obession with beauty, scandal and sex. I cant help but think of sex and the city.

Im no misognist or traditionalist far from it. However is this actually fueling the HPD fire for some women to think their behaviour is ok?

They see themselves as being able to behave how they want because they are living without restriction of traditional values or having to answer to anyone. They 'do what it takes' to get attention and sex... and in most modern countries they are (of course rightly) free to do so.

Or is it universal and you get them everywhere each adjusting to their own conditions like weeds!?

Good question.

Yes. You get them just about everywhere. Most nations have HPD's in their population. They all adapt to the culture they were brought up in, with varying levels of success.

The HPD's behavior doesn't come from culture but from early relationships with caregivers. However Hpd's who live in free Western societies have much more social outlets available to handle their attachment problems than say other repressive societies. You also have to take into account the fact that HPD's living in the west also have a problem that counteracts this defence, namely that they have to grow up at some point and become independent adults. They have major problems doing this and this what motivates alot of their sexual acting out.

In many Eastern cultures like say Saudi Arabia or Pakistan there are HPD's but their attachment needs tend to be satisfied fairly well because these cultures do not promote real independence in women, therefore there is far less need to act out like HPD's in the West do because they still live under the protective umbrella of childhood dependency. However there's a price to be paid for these protective dependencies in these Eastern cultures. Such as widespread spousal abuse, restriction of freedom, exploitation and so on. If I were an HPD I'd much rather live in the West than anywhere else.

For more on the treatment of women in Eastern cultures go to this link.

http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/eln03_terrorism.html

Here are two other links.

http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/06a1_incest.html

http://thepsychstudent.blogspot.com/200 ... -life.html

My male HPD makes the same excuses. If I object to a behavior that I see as inappropriate - say, his going on (supposedly platonic)trips with other women, he just says that he is "open minded" and "liberal," and I'm "closed minded" and "conservative."

He has no boundaries, and he uses the "free spirit" label as an excuse.

Roni, I couldn't tell you how many times the HPD I know has said that, right down to the "free spirit" label.

It's scary how consistent these stories are with those of my HPD. This board has been very enlightening.

You should pm goldendragon. I'm not sure if he frequents these forums anymore, but his HPD (or was it N?) was born and bred in India I believe. Not certain, but I believe they both live in India.

Anyhow, the gist that I get is that HPDs will express their disorder within the confines of their culture. Or rather, their culture will shape how they express their disorder.

Roni wrote:My male HPD makes the same excuses. If I object to a behavior that I see as inappropriate - say, his going on (supposedly platonic)trips with other women, he just says that he is "open minded" and "liberal," and I'm "closed minded" and "conservative."

He has no boundaries, and he uses the "free spirit" label as an excuse.

How same male HPD's are.....!!!

digital.noface wrote:You should pm goldendragon. I'm not sure if he frequents these forums anymore, but his HPD (or was it N?) was born and bred in India I believe. Not certain, but I believe they both live in India.

Anyhow, the gist that I get is that HPDs will express their disorder within the confines of their culture. Or rather, their culture will shape how they express their disorder.

Exactly. There are no more HPD's in the West than there are anywhere else. Just some cultures make it more covert.

This is a very interesting topic, because I live in an eastern society, not too strict but it's not as open as the west. And I mean here that sex before marriage is not something that everyone can easily talk about but it's there.

This point complicated my case a lot. Because it opened the door for my ex. for more lies & excuses.

Some example:
- When we first met, she acted like she's a virgin, to know later that she has slept with at least 3 guys.
- She said that one night stand is something wrong, to find out later that she did it several time.
- When i get too close, the reaction can easily be that what we're doing is wrong.