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Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

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Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby HubbaBubba » Thu Jan 28, 2016 3:32 pm

Not good at writing, my bad.
Here we go. (Im gonna focus on the bad parts of my life, im not saying my life has been complete $#%^, it hasn't, but anyway)
When I was little my Mom and dad used to fight alot. I dont remember much of it, but my Mom has told me stories about it, many of which I dont remember. Anyway he and she broke up and we stayed with our mother until she left us with our father (we was six or seven at the time). We was of course heartbroken because we both loved our Mom very deeply and we couldnt understand why she would leave us like that.
So she left us with our father, which I didnt really mind at the time, because my dad had all these computer gadgets and let me play games like quake, unreal and serious sam, good times were had. But my dad had some extreme anger issues. He could get furiously angry over silly things. He sometimes punished me for coming home to late by not letting me eat supper (evening food?) while watching TV in the living room with them. It might not sound that bad, but it was the way he did it, screaming and shouting at me like it was the worst thing I've ever done, (which pretty much sums up all his arguments) leaving me in tears and shame in the kitchen alone.
Another time he would have me and my sister walk to the store to buy soda for the pizza he was gonna make, and on the way we would play and imagine that we was on a quest or something (we are both infp). We spent to much time and when we got home they had eaten all the pizza or something, and he told us we we're two idiotic kids and that next time qe wenr out we should wear a note saying just that. One time he even cleaned the cats piss, with the cat, and that is what I think of if I ever feel I shouldn't be mad at him, he did that dispicable thing and it instantly makes me feel hate towards him.
Many years later we finally told the rest of our family about him, and after a couple of more incidents I was moved to a foster care and my sister to a dormatory at the school she studied at. Things were looking up.
But after a year with the new family, they told me I was a bad influence on their son (I probably was) and that they had found another foster care for me. I could basically choose between a new family or moving back in with my mother. Obviously I chose my mother. I didnt want anyone to think that my mother couldn't take care of me, right? But I probably should've taken all those times she let me down by rather drinking with friends than spending time with me. My mother has always had a drinking problem, nowadays I just call it a proneness to boredom and inability to take proper responsibility. Anyway the first half year wasnt that bad, (I was 16) but on from there on she begun drinking again. Friends would stop by with their own beers. They would talk loudly, listen to music and make an awful lot of noice (my mom the most). After that year I wanted to get the hell out of there, to punish her, and to leave her in her misery, hopefully realizing the damage she had caused. But she didn't, she kept on drinking an playing a helpless victim to her "illness". So many times has she recovered, without a sweat, and when I confronted her on the subject, she told me I simply didn't understand the illness she was facing.
Today I have lost contact with most my friends, except from a few recent ones, and my mom is not drinking anymore. But I still don't know her. It's like she has Histrionic personality disorder. The way she walks, the way she talks, always loudly and dramatically, like she has to catch a train or something. I have noticed my own behaviour to be quite Histrionic as well and i'm gonna take it up with my doctor tomorrow. Thanks for reading. :D
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby HubbaBubba » Sat Feb 13, 2016 6:33 pm

So I have read alot about narcissistic parents and the effect they have on their kids.. and there is no doubt in my mind that mye father is a narcissist.

Now i'm worried that I might be a narcissist myself, covert most likely, and i'm affraid no psychologist will take my concerns seriously. Last psychologist I went to laughed at my concerns saying "don't believe everything you read on the internet". But he didn't even care to hear about all that I've been through, as if NOW is all that matters?? What a great message for a potential narcissist.

Now i'm so confused about where to go with my issues, after previous encounter. I mean, don't they see more in me but a drug damaged person which simply needs to find work? or are all norwegian psychologist completely incompetent?

Please help
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby HubbaBubba » Wed Feb 17, 2016 1:55 pm

What kind of child emerges from a life with a Histrionic mother and a Narcissistic father?
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby xdude » Thu Feb 18, 2016 12:01 pm

Hey HubbaBubba,

We are not professionals here, so all you'll get is opinions from our own experiences, but...

I think it's reasonable to believe that children don't have the emotional or intellectual defenses, or the role, to cope well with parents who have issues that they take out on their kids. While NOW does matter, what is left buried often doesn't just go away if not dealt with at some point in our adult lives. The 'just get over it' mindset is common, but unfortunately we just don't work that way. Eventually our buried emotions have a way of bubbling to the surface, sometimes explosively and sometimes in harmful ways.

I think it's also fair to write that children of parents with cluster B personalities are often negatively affected, and more so if they are unaware of their issues. Even if the parents believe they have good intentions, their own issues will bubble to the surface and negatively affect their kids.

Diagnosis aside then, you know your parents have issues. You also know you've been affected. That's enough to know you'll probably need some help too. Unfortunately not all psychologists are equal, and not all are familiar with cluster B issues; or if they are, they lack personal experiences so their understanding is mostly intellectual, but they can't relate on an emotional level.

Bottom line - I think you are doing the right thing by asking questions and seeking answers.
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby HubbaBubba » Thu Feb 18, 2016 8:17 pm

Thanks for your reply xdude. Im sorry if I came across as to demanding, but the state I was in when writing it was.. not a very bright one, hah.

Anyways, I have come to many conclusions the last couple of weeks, all which seem to lead towards better mental health. But I also have this worry, that I am only tricking myself to believe i'm getting better, meanville the disorder (whatever it might be) is only getting fuel by my own hands, so to speak. This might be my paranoid mind doing the talk and I probably shouldn't stress too much over it. And I know that's only me being paranoid, but I still reprise the times I read about different disorders and the worry it gave me, and boom, I think i'm this and that.. haha oh well. I'm sure this will all pass with time ☺

Again thanks and have nice day!
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby Fr4nz83 » Fri Feb 19, 2016 5:05 pm

HubbaBubba wrote:Thanks for your reply xdude. Im sorry if I came across as to demanding, but the state I was in when writing it was.. not a very bright one, hah.

Anyways, I have come to many conclusions the last couple of weeks, all which seem to lead towards better mental health. But I also have this worry, that I am only tricking myself to believe i'm getting better, meanville the disorder (whatever it might be) is only getting fuel by my own hands, so to speak. This might be my paranoid mind doing the talk and I probably shouldn't stress too much over it. And I know that's only me being paranoid, but I still reprise the times I read about different disorders and the worry it gave me, and boom, I think i'm this and that.. haha oh well. I'm sure this will all pass with time ☺

Again thanks and have nice day!


Well, the fact that you are reflecting about your own issues points out that you can self-examinate (and you do that quite well, let me say!).

This is a huge step forward with respect to people that suffer of some disorder and are completely unaware, because you can use this self-examination to understand what are the reasons behind your behaviours. Also, you can use this introspection to understand when you are thinking or behaving inappropriately (and take some counter-action).

As X said, seeing a therapist greatly helps to speed up this process and even explore issues that, perhaps, you wouldn't be able to tackle alone.

Anyway: very good, HubbaBubba! 8)
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Re: Share & Care Narcissistic/Histrionic

Postby xdude » Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:29 pm

I also agree; that you are introspective makes all the difference. Because you are introspective you may never entirely fit the description of someone with a personality disorder that just acts/reacts constantly to their self-esteem issues, someone who doesn't self-examine, but still that doesn't mean you are not emotionally affected.
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