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Initially, they act out. However if attention deprivation is prolonged, they become depressed and lose motivation to do all things until a new victim finds them.

At least, this was my experience, corrupted by NPD as it was.

Oh, he/she will.

HPDs need attention like they need food and water. They'll find it somehow...even if it's less than ideal, it'll tide them over til a decent supply comes along. If they can't find something new, they'll try to "revitalize" a relationship from the past.

Also, my HPD spent a lot of time online and had a ton of "friends." Those types of relationships are far easier for them to maintain, but probably don't have the payoff of a relationship with an actual, present person.

So true, Graypni.

My HPD can shop for attention as easily as I shop for groceries. One of his old standbys is going to a bar and engaging the barteners in conversation. The poor people pretty much have to be polite to him because he is a customer. He'll start singing aloud, or ask them about how to make a certain drink, or make an inappropriate sexual comment about a song that is playing, etc. At first glance, his behavior might seem like flirting. However, he will do it with anyone: male, female, young, old, attractive, unattractive, etc.

Over time, I came to realize that I avoided going to a certain bar/restaurant with him because the space behind the bar was too small for the bartenders to put any distance between them, and they were a captive audience for him. (He gets irritated with me that I get tired of his constant antics.)

Of course, it doesn't have to be a bar. It can be anywhere. The other day, we were in a drug store. A store employee was nearby, and my HPD said, obviously for her benefit, a silly remark about the adult diapers, hoping for a laugh from her.

He even got a security person to laugh at a silly remark while we were waiting in a long line at an airport. He can be making reservations for a hotel in another city, and end up laughing on the phone for 20 minutes with the hotel staff he has never met. (I should add- he is not especially funny; people just tend to laugh at his overly friendly and silly comments.)

So, no, HPDs (at least the dramatic variety) will never go completely without attention. They are experts at extracting it where ever they go and from whomever they want.

Damon wrote:Let's say a new victim doesn'r find them. What will happen to the hpd after that ?

Ever spiralling depression, I suppose. In my circumstance, I was forced to overcome aspects of my disorders in order to continue to operate as a person. However, I also note that at the time I had already 'half-recovered' as it was, and my NPD was significantly stronger.

I simply lost all motivation to do all but the most basic of things. Not unlike depression, except that I had still had normal motivation to perform essential tasks (albeit poorly) such as work and/or uni. If I had nothing else to do, however, I would simply lay on the floor until I had something to do (e.g. eat, or sleep). Harrowing. After that I believe I essentially starved my HPD out, as well as my NPD-NS addiction (though i still want it, I no longer need it). Like locking a heroin junkie in a room for 3 weeks; ugly, cruel, and effective.

graypni wrote:Oh, he/she will.

HPDs need attention like they need food and water. They'll find it somehow...even if it's less than ideal, it'll tide them over til a decent supply comes along. If they can't find something new, they'll try to "revitalize" a relationship from the past.

Also, my HPD spent a lot of time online and had a ton of "friends." Those types of relationships are far easier for them to maintain, but probably don't have the payoff of a relationship with an actual, present person.

Indeed, but it is not unimaginable, given the effective viscious cycle that is there waiting to happen.

Basically, my whole life I have been awesome, because I have been surrounded by people who see my awesomeness and tell me such, thus feeding me NS and giving me more fuel to be awesome.

Then, when I made the eventual transition to uni, nobody there gives a ###$ how awesome you may or may not be, and I had no time for friends of victims (as i was working 3 jobs to support the immigration of my fiancee). What quickly happened was my NS tank ran empty, and I lost all motivation to do anything. Even faster, and more dangerously, I even lost motivation to go out and socialise (I am an introvert at heart- I hate having to socialise in order to get my NS). What had happened was within a short period of NS withdrawal, I had lost motivation to perform simple NS collecting activity.

As you can see it was a vicious cycle that did not lead anywhere nice. Luckily I pulled myself out of it (interestingly) by my own awesomeness which I possessed all along (which initially triggered the mass praise I grew up with, which in turn triggered my NPD).

Narcissistic Supply. Like positive attention or praise. The kind of attention which strokes the ego.