A Quiet Histrionic?

by **justagirl00** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:59 pm

This is something to think about for me

For me its hard to separate out what is introversion and what is motivated by anxiety, etc.

I can see how hpd and introversion would contradict each other...

But they don't. HPD has that self confidence component. A lack of self confidence sometimes results in introversion. My ex was NOT always outgoing. I could tell that if she lacked confidence she would slide back into her shell. Then the drama would come out in subtle ways to lure people to her, almost as her way of saying hello.

by **Fr4nz83** » Sun Jan 17, 2016 11:57 pm

Lionel2100 wrote:
justagirl00 wrote:This is something to think about for me

For me its hard to separate out what is introversion and what is motivated by anxiety, etc.

I can see how hpd and introversion would contradict each other...

But they don't. HPD has that self confidence component. A lack of self confidence sometimes results in introversion. My ex was NOT always outgoing. I could tell that if she lacked confidence she would slide back into her shell. Then the drama would come out in subtle ways to lure people to her, almost as her way of saying hello.

That self-confidence you perceive so real is, in reality, a mask. Indeed, HPDs need attention in order to overcome self-esteem issues (even if these are less grave than those experienced by BPDs).

by **Lionel2100** » Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:18 am

Exactly! That self esteem issue of an HPD is what drives their issues. The changing of relationships, the self made disasters and so on. Its heartbreaking to see because they have so many fantastic qualities. They can be the mask that they show, but that inner "itch" won't let them be content.

For me, my ex was perceived as outgoing, attractive, a leader, well educated, athletic, a good mother... I could go on. To her co-workers and acquaintances anyway, she appeared to have everything. Underneath of that she was mean, selfish, but more importantly she was self conscious and thought poorly of herself.... at times. So much that she drove herself to do destructive things and self medicate with alcohol.

I noticed that when she was "on" she was the life of the party, she was in charge and the leader. When she was "off" or around a lot of unknowns, she did not say much, yet was careful to present herself as perfectly as she could.

by **creative_nothing** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 2:25 pm

I guess there maybe a huge gap between what an histrionic think of him/herself and what other think of them. They will likely believe that they are'nt 'that loud".

by **Lionel2100** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 3:30 am

creative_nothing wrote:I guess there maybe a huge gap between what an histrionic think of him/herself and what other think of them. They will likely believe that they are'nt 'that loud".

I read a symptom of HPD was that they would do things in public at times that made others cringe and that HPDs were completely self unaware of it. My ex did this many times. Some examples were getting drunk in public or at friends' homes during gatherings to the point she was falling down and was completely unaware of the perception of others to include her kids. She actually viewed her drinking as a badge of honor. Another example was the way she talked to servers and store clerks. She was noticeably rude and demanding to the point where other people around her were looking at each other with the "did you hear that" face.

by **xdude** » Sat Jan 30, 2016 11:13 am

There may be a perception problem, but also I wonder if people with HPD get confused. A little being loud or attention seeking is one thing, and people may encourage it. A lot of being loud tends to wear others out. I think most people with HPD are fairly intuitive, but it does seem odd that they may miss the turning point when others have had enough.

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