Histrionic Moms

How do HPDs and histrionics in general fare as mothers?

An HPD client told me that she is not a good mother to her two-year-old daughter. She said she didn't "bond" with her at birth because "I blamed her for all the pain she had just put me through."

The child has been primarily brought up by her maternal grandmother. The child appears well cared for by the maternal grandmother when she is brought in by the client.

The client appears inconsistent in paying attention to the little girl. For example, after a brief play with dolls, the client will feel herself "getting bored by this" and sit and watch while the daughter tries to re-engage her in play unsuccessfully.

The client told me that this is an every day situation, where the child hungers for her attention while the client chats with boyfriends, paints her nails and prepares to "look hot for my job."

The client told me that she is very interested in how "pretty" her daughter is. She likes to "show her off, but not clean her up as much."

The client is emotionally immature. She's also 28 years old.

I think the most important thing to remember with HPD parents is this:

"Parents with HPD are inclined to use manipulative behaviors to focus their childrens' attention on parental needs and to evade arduous parental responsibilities while maintaining the appearance of being loving and involved. This can result in exploitation of and failure to protect children from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse." from this topic

My mother has HPD. She fared well when it came to praise and admiration for her children (my older sister and me) - especially when others were around to listen. Her enthusiasm for her children's ability to accomplish every day tasks encouraged us to make good choices. She was loving, caring, compassionate, empathetic and always went the extra mile to help us when we were sad or sick. Her 'boredom' didn't set in until we started making our own decisions and she could no longer take responsibility for our accomplishments.

She has never admitted to having an emotional or psychological problem. She has so many overly dramatized shallow problems, she can easily distract herself from profundities. Including the men she chose to have children with, and later to be 'father figures' for her young daughters. She married an alcoholic, an alcoholic child molester and a child molester who had sexually abused his previous step-daughter.

She did not understand that her young children were not qualified or mature enough to help her with her marital, social or financial problems. She took us along for the ride through many passionate, yet short-lived obsessions.

My question is, can some one who has the tendency to ignore the needs of a child be trusted as a parent? Can some one who has the tendency to evade parental duties (such as keeping their children out of danger) be a parent?

Ignoring a child's needs is neglect. Putting a child in a dangerous situation is abuse. My experienced based opinion is this: HPD's need a responsible, reliable, healthy adult to help them make decisions for their children. The potential of abuse or neglect should not be ignored.[/b]