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By the number of 'victims' we have around here, I would say yes.

I suppose it might depend on the person, but the HPD in our group was once aptly described by a friend when she spoke to you as, "acting like she was really interested in what you were saying and as if she really cared about what you were expressing, but in a totally fake way...kinda like the way a stripper fakes interest in a guy at a bar with the hopes that he'll keep buying drinks."

Here's a great example of my HPD faking empathy: Recently, his best friend's mother died (it was not unexpected). When the best friend called my HPD (we'll call him Rollo), and Rollo realized that the mother had died the night before, he yelled at his friend "Damn it, why didn't you call me?!?" He then caught himself, and turned on the sympathy. I think he was angry and yelled at his friend because he was planning on heaping on the sympathy and showing how caring and great a friend he was. When he found out that HE wasn't actually the most important thing in his friend's life when his friend's mother died, he let his true feelings out momemtarily. Then the fake empathy kicked in.

P.S., Damon, just a friendly request: the motion picture you attach to your posts is quite distractible to me. I admit, I'm easily distracted, but I would enjoy reading your posts more without the action scene. (Although I love Patrick Stewart

The empathy issue is a tricky one. Some may have it somewhat, some don't. Yet those who don't have it, improvise.
They watch (or ask) their partners (or friends etc) and learn what they like, what they don't.
Then they use this info to ingratiate themselves with their partners (and others).
In my experience, I'd wait a long time before I pointed out to her lack of emphaty on a given issue. Until such time my hpd would repeat her wrong behavior over and over again (displaying no empathy at all on a given subject).
After I told her what was wrong with her behavior, she'd correct it, and do the "right thing" afterwards.
Their behavior is like kids trying to please you to get ice cream afterwards. They may not really appreciate why they should act in the "good" or "correct" way, but they figure out that doing so will bring rewards.
Yet this robotic behavior does not suffice for real relationships.
They are faulty in many ways.
Soon enough their faulty reality perception, poor impulse control, low frustration tolerance, and missing ego boundaries get the better of them.
They can do the things you like, but they have no magic wand to deal with their inability to make and stick to commitments, their incapacity to expect appropriate entitlements (one being master of his/her life).
Again, robotic behavior to "get the ice cream" would not be enough to cope with the so-called separation anxiety (either too early separation from the mother, or mother's reluctance to separate from the child which leads to emotional immaturity later in life.)
Hence even if they had emphaty, they would still be defenseless to deal with: depression, panic, rage, guilt, helplessness, and emptiness, all consequences of separation anxiety.
They would intensely desire love relationships, but since they are emotionally immature/faulty/inadequate, they'd soon be overwhelmed, engulfed, stifled by all the love they are given by the significant others.
The consequence: they'd jump the ship when they actually get the love they thought they desired and bargained for.

"Yet this robotic behavior does not suffice for real relationships. They are faulty in many ways. Soon enough their faulty reality perception, poor impulse control, low frustration tolerance, and missing ego boundaries get the better of them."

What would go wrong?

For instance: If they have faulty reality perception, they might think that their significant other is not loving them/caring for them etc.
Whereas the reality might have been the opposite.
For instance: low frustration tolerance: A small argument with the significant other might cause an anxiety attack, and she might decide to dump her lover. (Because she'd be overwhelmed with excess anxiety/rage/guilt etc.)
A normal person would be upset a bit, but would not decide to leave her lover for a small problem.


"They can do the things you like, but they have no magic wand to deal with their inability to make and stick to commitments, their incapacity to expect appropriate entitlements (one being master of his/her life)."

Why are they unable to stick to commitments?

Because commitments are suffocating for them. They haven't learned when they were young how to cope with stressful issues. (HPDs are stuck at the ages 0-6. The ones closer to 0 are low-functioning HPDs, the ones close to 6 are higher functioning.) The higher functioning ones are more mature but not mature enough.
Commitments, as you know, needs maturity emotionally.

"They would intensely desire love relationships, but since they are emotionally immature/faulty/inadequate, they'd soon be overwhelmed, engulfed, stifled by all the love they are given by the significant others."

Why would they be overwhelmed, engulfed, stifled?
How strong is the link between HPD and separation anxiety?

They would be overwhelmed/stifled/engulfed because since childhood they've developed an umbrella of dependency on people in their family or on others which helped them to function. In other words, others make their decisions, they implement. Yet, when they are become adults, and when the issue to decide on is making a commitment or another significant issue, they have a very difficult time with it. Often they leave the scene. This is why they are prone to dump people.
Most authors I read say separation anxiety is a major (if not the) cause of the HPD.

When my mother died it was a very stressful time for me.

My wife was unable to exhibit any empathy at all. I think she was aware that there was something she was supposed to do but she didn't know what it was or how to do it.

Her attempts at empathy were juvenile to say the most. They were ridiculous to the point that I found myself comforting her when it was I that needed the comforting.

I feel compelled to add that any empathy they feel, they feel for themselves. They can't understand that others might not feel empathy for them. After they are the ones that deserve it!

I can remember many times thinking, before I found this forum and others like it where I was able to learn so much, that my wife was very adept at throwing herself a "Pity Party".

She made it seem that only she was worthy and deserving of any sympathy from anyone for anything.

What a b!tch