hpd employee

I have a problem with an employee. I bought out my partner of 6 years and she became my problem. I have read a lot here and on the web, he is a narcissist and she has hpd. No doubt in my mind on both. She bounced job to job until 30 years of age, 1 year max at those jobs. She came to work for us and I was off the radar screen, Happily married with children. I have realized why she stayed as long as she has. They were perfect for each other. I always felt they were and item, but then no, based on daily observations. They preyed on one another and at times seemed to hate one another, now I understand. The reason I started reading about personality disorders, She set her eyes on me. She loved having him by the throat, she could tell on him. He is twice divorced during this period. WORST PART, HE WAS A PART TIME THERAPIST, NOW FULL TIME. When he sold out, she moved her therapy to his office. Her therapist is a partner/owner were he works. She is still getting supply from him. They have a small waiting room if you know what Im saying. My entire staff was put on call, I asked for there help. At first I had no Idea what hit me. Her flirtatious behavior went over my head, I am a boy scout. Then it turned to suicide threats, this guy I know locked her in his car. But when I would call her on it, “I will talk with that bastard” No NO, if you do I will quit is the response. I have 1000 little stories to tell, but you should get the drift. I called my ex-partner about her behavior and he said fire her. His responses to questions were bs and I felt something was wrong. I read enough not to fall into his trap. She would target the hatred to me instead of him. How do I get rid of her, I have standing orders that she not talk about anything personal with me. She redirected and is causing problems between staff members. Thanks.

Are there witnesses to her going too far with you in her flirtatious behaviour?

Did she practically throw herself on you and say incredibly crude things??

If so I'd say you should bring out a sexual harassment lawsuit and maybe a restraining order if possible against her.

If you and everyone else frustrates an HPD long enough they will give up and they do not like hassles like legal proceedings against them as it can poison their victim pool by revealing knowledge being made known about them in public.

This kind of attention they hate unless they are a lawyer and its good attention they are getting from trying a big case.

Anyway yeah though just consult a lawyer and protect yourself.

Whenever she comes around act very boring and disinterested in her.

The disinterest true tends to draw an HPD but the boredom act can balance that out and get her to leave you alone.

Your story was in my perception, nearly impossible to truly understand. Ellaborate?

Dear toughtobme- its difficult to understand your post. I realise you must be under a lot of stress and possibly that is why this post has turned out the way it is- but could you take a deep breath and try again- unless we understand, we cant give you our thoughts on this.

Yes, everyone at work has been told. A couple of older ladies said they would wach her behavior but they married young and are out of the sexual loop. The very next day, both came to me and said you have a problem. A month ago, during a delivery she said I want to f___! I said don't we all. It took a couple of hours to understand the meaning. She was a friend for so long. My question was understood by KontrollerX and thanks. She has made my life hell over the last several months. I no longer like her as a friend or employee. But I fear she may try to hurt my biz if I just let her go. I have been rock solid, trying to dry up the supply. I am a math guy, sorry for the poor structuring of my thoughts. She allways proofed everything for me. Thanks again.

Tell her If she won't get it together then she'll have to look for another job. You can't let her run the show because she'll run with it. Just try to stand your ground and tell her how it's going to be. She'll surely react by projecting one of her two selves, try not to buy into it.

Yesterday I told the crew at work, I was taking today off. My son has no school this week. December is a busy month for me and I have taken a total of 3 days off. This was the only day I had no appointments and could play with my son. He goes to bed about an hour after I get home weekdays, I work Sat. & Sun. My HPD called in sick today, guess who had to cover at work, me. She can't be there if I am not. I own a retail store, an employee told me she hides when I leave to meet clients. She needs me around to have strength dealing with everyday life. IS THIS TYPICAL? just looking for confirmation, I know the answer. YES

"She needs me around to have strength dealing with everyday life. IS THIS TYPICAL? just looking for confirmation, I know the answer. YES"

Well you are looking for confirmation and now you have it.

Yes that is typical of HPD's.

Well for their main target it is.

If an HPD is female they get their identity and strength from the guy they want to be their main lover and if male it is the same in that the HPD male aquires strength and a sense of self from his female partner.

It looks like this HPD is really on the hunt for you.

All you can do is what I have already said but most of all remain boring and as disinterested in her as possible outside of any official work business she has to speak to you about.

Thanks KontrollerX. Of interest, my staff and I have her thinking I am having an affair. We started this a month ago and added a second affair to the mix. It has her bouncing off the walls every time I leave the store. The other employees know were I am off to, and I tell my HPD, I have to run out for awhile. She paces and snaps at anyone who questions her, even work related questions. What amazes me, She seems stronger than ever. But my staff tells me everything that she does. Not being allowed to talk personal stuff with me anymore. when I get back from the road, she bashes and makes stuff up about the other staff.

Trusting my other employees was the best thing I ever did. I get feedback and see I have been effective. Also the hardest thing I ever did was being so open and trusting. Something I believe the HPD never thinks will happen. ( The vast majority of people are afraid to open up, the HPD makes you feel defective) Thank the heavens I am a boy scout at heart. I have been with the same woman from 19-40 years of age. I think she counted on my being a pig like so many men are.

"Thanks KontrollerX. Of interest, my staff and I have her thinking I am having an affair. We started this a month ago and added a second affair to the mix. It has her bouncing off the walls every time I leave the store. The other employees know were I am off to, and I tell my HPD, I have to run out for awhile. She paces and snaps at anyone who questions her, even work related questions. What amazes me, She seems stronger than ever. But my staff tells me everything that she does. Not being allowed to talk personal stuff with me anymore. when I get back from the road, she bashes and makes stuff up about the other staff."

Yeah HPD's hate to be the one not in control.

This woman sounds just like our HPD poster mylife who is suffering because of being controlled by an NPD who has beaten her at her own game at every turn.

Basically the woman you are dealing with sounds desperate, anxiety ridden and out of control because she can't get a handle on you and put you under her thumb.

In anycase just to be safe you should inform your wife about all these work shenanigans and pranks you are pulling on this HPD so if the HPD calls up your wife and tells her you've been cheating on her that your wife will just laugh off this HPD.

You should also tell your wife about the HPD condition and show her info about it online as I wouldn't put it past a desperate HPD to try and destroy a happy home as revenge for her being scorned and as a plan to try and get you to be single and vulernable to her.

"Trusting my other employees was the best thing I ever did. I get feedback and see I have been effective. Also the hardest thing I ever did was being so open and trusting. Something I believe the HPD never thinks will happen. ( The vast majority of people are afraid to open up, the HPD makes you feel defective)"

Yeah because through the disordered thinking the HPD thinks everyone thinks like her.

She doesn't know that the way she is thinking is not what most of us would call normal so she wouldn't think you would do anything she wouldn't do.

"Thank the heavens I am a boy scout at heart. I have been with the same woman from 19-40 years of age. I think she counted on my being a pig like so many men are."

I think many HPD's view men with a callous contempt for thinking men only want one thing from them.

If they only knew how sexual they were acting with people at all times they would realize that it is their behaviour which invites this natural reaction and that men are not simply the 2D cartoon characters they think of us as.