Fake Empathy and Like Minded Friends?

- But LR_ the trouble is that those that are 'sick' cannot see it, they are so deep in denial that they're blind, so is there ever a cure? They will justify it/etc.

To rumin8r9- Just to let you know I was never trying to get my hpd to go on the Oprah show nor trying to help heal her. I am fully aware that most people with hpd do not want help and are in denial of their disorder. I was simply hoping to bring awareness to the masses. I think that if people know what signs to look for and know how destructive these people are, they would be less likely to fall for a hpd.

To Kevin - None of my hpd's friends were ever attractive. In fact she had several roommates during the time that we were together and she always picked out the most ugly, homely looking roommates. She had one roommate who was semi-attractive one time and she hated her for no good reason. I personally thought that she was a sweet girl. She would also say negative things about my oldest sister, who I am very close to. My oldest sister is also attractive and she would tell me that she wasn't. Bottom line, hpds hate any competition.[/b]

Thank you all for what you've shared. I am reading the posts slowly, trying to digest this. It makes sense once you learn to recognize it. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck ...

We were at a party once and had to write about "love." What she wrote, I'll never forget. She wanted a man who made her feel like she was the queen of his heart and special. She was hung up on special. Is that a typical HPD feature?

Then she went into detail about how her special someone made her feel, what he did for her, etc. It was all about her. Nothing about what she did for him. Nothing. It was paragraph after paragraph of what he did for her and how he made her feel. It was like one person was in the whole relationship: her.

Everytime someone complimented her, it was always about how "real" and "genuine" and "deep" she was when she was ironically none of those things. She wasn't real because she was acting out a role. She wasn't deep because she was so shallow, her emotions never ran deeper than her nail polish.

She faked it all so well, everybody thought it was real and deep, myself included. Of all the things she was and wasn't, it was that discrepancy that transfixed me.

Do HPDs have to be complimented all the time? All her friends talk about how great and wonderful she is. She disagrees, claiming they are the ones who are truly great and wonderful and she's small potatoes compared to them. She has a knack for saying the right things.

What intrigued me was when someone dared call her on her covert egotism. It would really set her off. Then you saw the conceit rise to the surface: I am really that because of this and that. It came shining through. She'd be completely set off because someone had dared say she was anything less than the perfect princess act she put on for everybody.

Do HPDs want to convince others that they have a perfect life? I know that if anything was bad, she wouldn't acknowledge it. She'd put it out of her mind. She only dwells in the land of happiness and joy and sunshine. Anything less than that she ignores.

My hpd definately believed that she was special. She thought that she was special, because she supposedly had one of the world's rarest blood diseases (Glanzmann's Thromblasthenia) and also because she was supposedly fluent in four different languages.

And yes everything is about them. They will put up a front that others are better than them, but their actions are the opposite. In fact, my hpd's final e-mail to me was entitled, "Thank you for everything you have done for me." The first paragraph of the letter was about how she couldn't move on without me. Then at the end of the letter she admitted that everything was her fault and gave me a token "sorry." What kind of person other than a selfish hpd talks about her pain before being contrite about all the pain she has caused me.

And yes they need to be complemented all the time. Sure they will praise and worship the person they are with, but this is only because they want to be complemented ten times over in return. In fact, I spoke to my hpd through msn messenger after our break-up (this was on accident, because she had previously told me that the screenname was her father's. I wanted to tell her father about her disorder, so I created a fake hotmail account, just in case the screenname was actually my hpd's or another guy that she might've cheated on me with. I added the screenname to my contact list and sure enough it was not her father's screenname, but my hpd's secondary screenname.)

I was somewhat surprized (not that much though because my hpd lied about everything), and didn't know what to tell her. I had to talk to her though, because if I just deleted her she would have most likely known that it was me, so I decided to pretend that I was just some girl who was looking for a guy. I told her that I added her by mistake and that I didn't want to bother her, but instead of letting me go my hpd instantly tried to be best friends with me and told me that I seemed like a good person, etc. I kept telling her I was a shy, boring girl, but she kept trying to boost me up. She however, also wanted me to complement her. She would ask me things like, "Do you speak another language?" Just so she could tell me that she spoke four langauges and be complemented. She would bring up several more topics that she wanted to brag about. After I gave her little reaction and did not seem impressed, she told me that she had to go. This was just a few minutes after she told me that she was bored out of her mind and wanted to get to know me.

My hpd was also the supreme optimist and from what I have read most hpd's are. She lived a fairytale life. She told me that she traveled all over the world (England, France, Australia, Japan, Sweden, Russia, Thailand, US, Canada, Korea, etc.) and that she wanted to be a professor and that she wanted to run her own translation company, which were impossible because she was going to a community college and her English was mediocre at best. She told me that her father was going to buy her a new BMW, which was also hard to believe, because she always complained about how poor her parents were.

you all have issues. You sit around and talk about other people as if they ruined your whole world. i thought this was a forum 4 people with hpd?

prot wrote:you all have issues. You sit around and talk about other people as if they ruined your whole world. i thought this was a forum 4 people with hpd?

Thank you, Prot.

you all have issues. You sit around and talk about other people as if they ruined your whole world. i thought this was a forum 4 people with hpd?

I wouldn't say that my hpd ruined my life. She did a lot of damaging things to it, but I wouldn't say ruined. What's the big deal if people who have had relationships with people with hpd tell their stories and ask questions.

And who told you that this forum was only for people with hpd. I wish that more people with hpd would contribute to the forum, so that we could get their input on why they do the things they do.

Hpd Is not an emotional subject. Its a scientific one.

"Hpd Is not an emotional subject. Its a scientific one."

Its both.

"you all have issues."

Looking through your post history I have to say pot meet kettle.

"You sit around and talk about other people as if they ruined your whole world."

You sit around and talk trash about our forum goers as if they ruined your whole day.

If any of us are bad you are certainly no better.

"i thought this was a forum 4 people with hpd?"

What you and a few other posters need to understand about the board is it says Histrionic Personality Disorder not HPD's only or victims only. Its to talk about the disorder and there are many different ways to do that.

If you were more informed you would know many victims of HPD's suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and posting their stories over and over again to gain an understanding and each time they remember something new and want opinions on it is called processing and is part of recovering from PTSD through being able to come to terms with a new world view forced on you by the traumatic experience.

What victims are doing here by sharing their stories and anger is healthy.

We've had and still do have HPD's themselves regularly contributing and asking us for help and offering their insights. Digital Noface, mylife, lostHPD and noinsight are their names.

So we are not anti HPD we welcome everyone who wants to contribute their story whatever it is so long as members try not to insult eachother.

An HPD is just as free to talk about their bad relationship experience and how bad they think their ex is here as any of us are and we will listen and offer input as needed. Fair is fair.

Honestly learn to check a forum over thoroughly before you bash its members please.

I never knew HPD and sociopaths were that bad. I guess i never met any. And if i had they were most likely quite predictable i didn't see then as any real threat.

But since you see it that way about the victims getting their pain out... post away.

Seems as if its adding fuel to the fire to me.

I've had so many thankful PM's from HPD's and victims telling me the forum has improved and has helped them tremendously that I would have to say this place is where fires are put out but hey you are free to your opinion friend.