by mylife » Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:36 pm
Orson -
First and foremost, I am sorry for the tragic loss. Suicide is a tragedy if there have been no interventions...
As for the depression comment...and yes, you are correct, I would dispute that....
First, ask most any of the people that know me on the "surface" and they would never guess that I have been depressed. Only those who are really close to me (girlfriends only) know that I do get depressed. However, let me state that I doubt that I have been clinically depressed.....but feeling "depressed" is a normal feeling that everyone has, albeit some may be better able to repress these uncomfortable feelings....therein tells WHY hpd's do not seem depressed. The ONLY time I am depressed is when I am bored....and in some ways I think that boredom is depression for me...make sense? When I am bored, I am prone to depressive feelings....therefore, what does a HPD do? They go find excitement and adventure to GET RID of the feelings of depression. I would highly suggest that most HPD's would be QUITE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED if they were not in full attention getting actions....for this is the reason that they survive...therefore, if a HPD is not getting attention, they would likely be depressed. make any sense?
When I am having an affair or being sought after I feel good. But when I am not, I feel down, depressed and anxious. The excitment seeking is way to AVOID the dperession.
I actually have a lot of insight into my condition, but that is ONLY because I am therapist and I have studied and worked with this for awhile....In my early 20's to late 20's I would not have been able to see that perhaps I was depressed at times....however, I also had more time on my hands to engage in my fun activities, hence I was less likely to feel depressed. Most HPD's without help, or insight, may not realize that they are depressed or have times of depression....Depression and boredom are FEARED by a HPD, so likely they will be repressed by outwardly attention seeking behavior that will make them feel better...
Most NPD's are also depressed; although, they would hard to admit that. Underlying the defenses of most personality disorders is a fragile, insecure and DEPRESSED human. The personality disorder protects them from their feelings.