What's rolling thru the head of an HPD/Cluster B?

I wonder if anyone has ever gotten an HPD type person to answer a question such as:

1) how do you feel about yourself

2) what kinds of things do you think about during say..driving in silence, other mundane tasks like digging a ditch or riding in an elevator or peeing in the restroom.

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I asked my ex HPD question #1 twice on email--and got NO reply both times.
Do they freak..and go..OH NO! please..don't ask!? Or are they blank..and can't answer? Or do they think of teletubbies? I am puzzled.
=== any ideas? ===

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if i would have asked my exhpdgf question #1, i wouldn´t have gotten an answer either, due to the fact that she was absolutely blank ... many times i could really see it in her eyes that literally "nobody was at home", leaving me with a very strange feeling about her ... big red flag, by the way!

and i have to agree ... i could have gotten (and got!) a calculating answer too, in this case i could see how her brain was searching for an answer like arnold as a robot in the terminator movies ... it was so odd.

a meaningful or truthful answer was impossible for her, because there was no personality, no reflexion, no introspection ... machine-like, cold behaviour and interaction.

of course, it took me a couple of weeks to figure that out, but even then i couldn´t put my finger on it. now everything fits into the puzzle.

rumin8r9 wrote:1) how do you feel about yourself

I feel good. Mainly, though not entirely, because I am good.

2) what kinds of things do you think about during say..driving in silence, other mundane tasks like digging a ditch or riding in an elevator or peeing in the restroom.

I have an phenomenonally overactive imagination/thinker. I will always be doing 1 of 2 things, no matter what else I happen to be doing. 1) Visualising something awesome, like a character, or setting for a story, or me kicking arse, or futuristic stuff, or some historic event... 2) Think about something mundane in a needlessly philosophical way, or struggling to remember a way to say what ever I am saying at the time in another language, Politics, plans, video games, rearranging sentences that I say into new ones. It never stops. At any one point in time I am usually thinking about something random, visualising something different, playing a tune and tapping my tands/feet to it, doing whatever I am supposed to be doing (working, walking, cleaning, ect), and talking $#%^. Sometimes the line gets blurred, and I'll integrate a line of thought with the music layer and start rhyming it aloud, or my random topic of thought will come into my imaginative hallucinations.

Well thats me. I am not sure what that says about HPDs, but I am HPD/NPD, and thats the questions for you

ewriter wrote:if i would have asked my exhpdgf question #1, i wouldn´t have gotten an answer either, due to the fact that she was absolutely blank ... many times i could really see it in her eyes that literally "nobody was at home", leaving me with a very strange feeling about her ... big red flag, by the way!

and i have to agree ... i could have gotten (and got!) a calculating answer too, in this case i could see how her brain was searching for an answer like arnold as a robot in the terminator movies ... it was so odd.

a meaningful or truthful answer was impossible for her, because there was no personality, no reflexion, no introspection ... machine-like, cold behaviour and interaction.

of course, it took me a couple of weeks to figure that out, but even then i couldn´t put my finger on it. now everything fits into the puzzle.

Are you sure she had HPD. Sounds to me like she is just dismally stupid. Histrionics (whilst varying in intelligence) are usually, well...histrionic. Quite expressive and such. Lots of arm waving and crying and sexiness, and bitchiness. Too expressive.

on the surface of course sexiness, bitchiness, drama, queen of the party, funny, talkative, seductive, empathic, and a very hot 38-year woman ... everything a new man in her life sees. but over time i KNEW that something was wrong with her, she was too far from normal and from what i had experienced before ... so i got very suspicious, analyzed her behaviour and found out about so many odd things, like the "nobody is at home"-symptom. that time i didn´t know a name for this all exists, finally after one year i read about hpd.

interestingly in the beginning i was thinking of aspd, but hpd definitely fits the best, overlapping with bpd. from what i read she is a classic case and she´s really sick.

oh, that is SO true!!!

if i would have asked my exhpdgf question #1, i wouldn´t have gotten an answer either, due to the fact that she was absolutely blank ... many times i could really see it in her eyes that literally "nobody was at home" leaving me with a very strange feeling about her ... big red flag, by the way!

and i have to agree ... i could have gotten (and got!) a calculating answer too, in this case i could see how her brain was searching for an answer like arnold as a robot in the terminator movies ... it was so odd.

a meaningful or truthful answer was impossible for her, because there was no personality, no reflexion, no introspection ... machine-like, cold behaviour and interaction.

of course, it took me a couple of weeks to figure that out, but even then i couldn´t put my finger on it. now everything fits into the puzzle.

after the fact - that is exactly how i remember her. it's like i would catch moments when i would look in her eyes and there was nobody there!!! it's like my memory of her now is that she is almost an elusive figure, invisible, no substance---like you could almost reach out and put your arm thru her like she was a ghost.

Are you sure she had HPD. Sounds to me like she is just dismally stupid. Histrionics (whilst varying in intelligence) are usually, well...histrionic. Quite expressive and such. Lots of arm waving and crying and sexiness, and bitchiness. Too expressive.

yes, she was also a poster child of hpd (Quite expressive and such. Lots of arm waving and crying and sexiness, and bitchiness. Too expressive). but, sometimes when she would look into my eyes i would see that there was literally 'no-one' there. like she was a shell. this is the one thing i don't understand. what is it about them that makes them so outwardly expressive but at the same time (at moments, at least) (or are they always like this, i don't know) --- like a robot. that is the only way i can describe it.

if anyone knows any medical explanation for this i would like to hear what you have to say. i have figured out 99% of this disorder but i don't get this.

also, i noticed that she always noticed tiny, tiny virtually unnoticeable physical imperfections in other people that most people wouldn't notice. when she would mention them she would talk like she was utterly disgusted. i noticed this too with another hpd i know. has anyone seen this kind of behaviour as well?

finally, in hindsight i realize it was not about her real affection with me, although outwardly it seemed so, it was about her intense need to control me. i also saw a sadistic look in her eyes once. it was the look of someone that COULD be capable of almost anything (if in the right circumstance to carry out something dastardly). it's weird because they want more then anything to control others, but, they also want to be controlled. hard to know how to treat them. they truly are walking contradictions. every day the wind seems to blow them in a different directions and back again and so on and so on...

Reading this thread makes me wonder if there might be a connection between HPD and schizoid PD. I have SPD (I think) and I avoid people whenever possible, but when I have to be around people I sometimes clown around and make myself the center of attention so I can steer the discussion away from anything personal about myself. The goal is to put up a facade that will keep people entertained without letting them get to know me at all. I think of it as hiding in plain sight.

ryl wrote:Reading this thread makes me wonder if there might be a connection between HPD and schizoid PD. I have SPD (I think) and I avoid people whenever possible, but when I have to be around people I sometimes clown around and make myself the center of attention so I can steer the discussion away from anything personal about myself. The goal is to put up a facade that will keep people entertained without letting them get to know me at all. I think of it as hiding in plain sight.

Eh my friend doing psych has unofficially dxed me with NPD, SPD, and Bipolar. I have been professionally hit with NPD/HPD.

Well I cut off my few friends 10 years ago and have been a complete hermit since, so I think my self-dx is correct.