Mimicry to create a false bond

by **SueDeNim** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:43 pm

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It has been a time of confusion as I have struggled to reconcile the 2 conflicting sides of her - what she says and what she does - which she seems to live quite happily with causing no conflict at all.

hpd's that do not try to learn from their behaviour (you said this woman was in her late 50's early 60's, right?) and fine tune it to fit into society only allow their unacceptable behaviour to get more pronounced and obtuse over time. like all of us! we have to constantly try and do a self-inventory and match up what we say with what we do. the hpd i fell for, i discovered over time, was also a walking contradiction. she hurt so many people but would still, and sucessfully i might add, act like she was a saint who never did anything wrong. she would say things to me and then conveniently forget them. ex: i love you.

Does: lets slip that she sued last 2 boyfriends for cash from their house value
Has loans and credit cards up to her neck
Regularly takes cash from her mother, a pensioner
States: When I marry I want the man to provide everything.

she also seemed to have a weird obsession with money. it was one of the glaring contradictions to her outward appearance and demeanour. she would say odd statements about money and get a strange calculating look on her face.

by **ewriter** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:24 pm

the contradiction was the same with my hpdgf. in the beginning of our relationship i tried to understand her, many times i took the blame for her behaviour and later it was only annoying.

this was the point when i finally broke out of the "co-dependency" i tried to maintain to keep her as my girlfriend ... isn´t that stupid?

the vacuum which actually was her personality of course accepts contradiction, again: child-like, no sense for herself and for what she does.
even the whole attention-seeking and distraction thing didn´t come to her mind anyway, it happend unconcious like software on a computer ... watching her with a crowd (of men) in a bar, especially when she was drunk ... really ugly. the more i find out about this disorder the more i know how evil, inhuman but on the other hand, and this is a very sad thing, really poor she is ... abuses herself and other people and gets abused by others.

by **PersonOutThere11** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:44 pm

I'm glad you got something from what I said

...i think some HPDs want to believe that they feel the same way others do; then they treat them like crap and realize 'huh guess i never really cared as much as i thought i did'

for me, i'm trying to encorporate sympathy into my life, because you just can't make real, lasting connections with people without it

sure you can trick them into just about everything (hpders), but i want to trick myself into loving others!!!

by **Disordered** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 6:27 am

Gosh, I am so much like that. At least to the extent I copy and mimic the people I want to be close to. But I don't think I do all sorts of selfish contradictory things but maybe I'm just too selfish to realize that.

My therapist told me other people around her office give her a hard time because they think she turned me into her "mini me" but it wasn't anything she did to make that happen. I dress just like her and try to like what she likes. I take on her opinions and the scariest thing is I went from being an Atheist into a prospective Catholic and wouldn't you know it, my therapist is Catholic. God, I adore my therapist. She is amazing. Oh yeah, and what do I want to do for a career when I get older (I'm 16) become a therapist.

And I mean it's not really something I do intentionally. I really honest to God believe I really like the way she dresses and that I really do want to be Catholic. Ugh. I hate myself right now.

Mimicry to create a false bond

Mimicry to create a false bond

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