being ignored is a HPD's worst dream..and it happened to me

AND where is KX when I need him??? YOU know me better than anyone else here.... and you have a way of comforting me when I need it!!!

Sorry mylife I've gone and got addicted to that youtube.com video site which is why I've been absent lately.

In anycase you know you are always welcomed to PM me if you need help or comfort.

starz wrote:My- ok, i have to ask, cos from all of us here, we just aint getting this thing - what is it about this guy then?

She's in love. She's finally found a man she can respect, a headgamer like herself who's better at it than she is.

right now I am just trying to forget about the N-man and act like I dont care either

that's the best thing to do...ACT LIKE YOU DON'T CARE! why? there is only one reason. because he doesn't deserve you to care about him.

you seem so convinced that you care about him more than he cares about you. i wouldn't be so sure of that. i think he cares about you alot more than he is willing to let you know. he has probably just figured out how to play you and is using those techniques to keep you in line. or maybe you have just built him up in your head to be this exciting guy. maybe he is just a boring guy with a blah personality who doesn't know how to be loving or romantic.

like i said before you have the power in this relationship. not him. he is the one who has the control. not you. therefore he has more to lose!!!

you have no idea how things would change in your relationship with him if you woke up tomorrow and felt like you were over him. he would fall for you instantly. i have seen so-called players (tough word for a loser or a fake-ladies man) change on a dime when their abused women tell them they have had enough and leave for good.

nothing is more satisfying then dumping someone (when they deserve it)...i say play along with him. pretend everything is great and wonderful and then boom out of the blue...dump him cold with no contact! play him at his own weak, pathetic game...

mylife wrote:Dragon -

Yes your therapist friend is absolutely 100% correct. I know it is HARD to not call her out on her behavior, but that is not what matters because she will NOT hear that anyway....she will only hear that you are still thinking about her and that she still has you conquered.

The ONLY way to show this woman how you feel about her is to STOP ALL CONTACT. There is no reasoning with a HPD. We act like we care about what you are saying and feeling but that usually is a manipulation tool to get what we want. STOP ALL CONTACT. MOVE ON. That will show her more than anything else that you are done and that she needs help.

As long as you continue any communication with her, you will tied up in her bs. STOP NOW and get someone real. She is not a bad person but she is probably not capable of having a meaningful relationship with you ESPECIALLY because you sound like a man that actually cares about her and wants her.

As far as my friends, I am TOTALLY honest with my friends. They KNOW me VERY WELL. And they are truly really nice and good people. In fact, my best friend, is probably the most honest, caring, considerate person that I know - truly. I am really blessed to have my friends.

Mylife- my wife is undergoing therapy, as you may have already read. Her therapist wants me to meet her.. But I would prefer to get some indication that she can be better - by speaking on the phone, before I take the step of meeting her. So I asked her to tell me all that she did- because to me, that would be the first indication of remorse- that she is willing to tell the truth and make a clean breast of it.

Do you think this would be effective( well as yet I am not getting the truth- but her parents may also have something to do with it, since they are interested parties in continuing with the marriage..) ?
If not what else do you think would be the indicator that she has really changed. Unlike what her therapist or her parents want, I am least interested in putting myself and my heart in her hands, without being absolutely sure about.. I am still on anti-depressants and am not willing to be a guinea pig to see if she has improved or not. So I am not willing to try a "trial re-uniting" or any such stuff. Also she is still on drugs( Lamotrigine, Trifluoperazine,
Chlorpromazine)- so I am not sure what would happen if the drugs are off.

What do you think I can do ?At the moment of course I am pulled between my love for her as well as my instinct for self preservation and fear of her.

Your advice would be valuable.