legal question

ok so last weekend my crazy ex decides to inform me that she had a pap smear come back as class 4. ok so i look this up and it says that this is usually sings of displasia, she mentions nothing of this. She says cancerous and pre cancerous cells and would be going back today to find out what her treatment options are. ok so she leaves the doc and says it is endometiosis. I'm like ok, well you told me something else last week. she starts fumbling around a bit saying it was some cancerous cells and the beginning of endometriosis, and that it was ok to leave the cancer there for a while since eventually she wants to have a baby. ok first off, am i wrong in thinking you NEVER leave cancer in the body? this is very new to me. and second. Endometriosis has nothing to do with cancer, also it is very painful and she mentioned nothing about being in any pain. ok so here is where my legal question comes in. her story sounded all screwy so i decide to call the doc and say, Hey my girlfriend is in there about to see the doc may i speak to her and remind her to ask him something. They say, no one with that name has been in here this morning. HMMM.... so i call her out on it then she tells me i am crazy it is illegal for them to tell me anything about a patient. Now I understand if i had wanted info on her and her diagnosis that is illegal but for me to call and say i need to remind her to ask the doc something, that is not illegal for them to tell me if she is there right? I have blown her story out of the water and she is now trying to spin it around right?

Man, you really shouldn't bother with this chick. You do understand that you are only playing into her game when you call the doctors and check. She doesn't care you know she's lying, she cares that you care to check. Seriously man, stuff her. Let her have her cancer. It is no longer your concern.

Im with digital on this one....

Also, Class 4 is precancer....and I have had it - and I am fine five years later and I did NOT get cancer...Also, about five of my friends have had the same thing and are all fine. It is caused by HPV which like 75% of the population has....they go in and remove the bad cells which is like a 5 min procedure in the doctors office.....it does NOT mean that you have cancer - it means that there are pre-cancerous cells that need to be removed.

Oh, and what I think is funny about this situation is that I have used the CIN 4 (that is stage 4 precancer) in the SAME WAY.

I used to pout around and make my man feel sad for me and worry about me...I would also use it as an excuse to AVOID sex for an extended period of time - since why would I want to actually sleep with my man?

I also have used other numerous physical ailments to get his attention when I felt like he was leaving me. I once said my grandmother died - which was not true - so that he would talk to me.

I even had him talk to me to the ER on two different occasions because I said I was upset that I had been vomiting black bile for a whole day - just to get his attention again!! Which of course was not true!

It has been YEARS since I have pulled that (early 20's) but I cannot say it would not happen again.....Yesterday for example, I stayed home sick from work because I wanted to shop - WELL, since he was mad at something I did two days ago - I told HIM that I was home because I was soooo overwhelmed with sadness and distraught from our fight that I could not work!!!

(and for those of you who read my other posts, this is NOT the a-hole that I have been talking about. The man in this post is my man of ten years).

Hi Mylife

How does this make you feel? Or do you just care about the instant gratification of the attention you get back from it?
Has anyone ever caught you out, or realised that you arent actually as ill as you make out (the people you live with for instance) and do you forget at times that your supposed to be playing ill??

These situ's worry me, as when living with people, they do get clued in to this sort of behaviour - its very hard at times because if the same person does genuinely become ill, and you know or suspect theyve played this card in the past and more than once - its hard to be truly sympathetic, if you know what i mean! Youre never sure when they are truly ill or not.......

Starz -

I do forget that I am "playing" sick and due to the enormous amount of stress and energy it takes to pull off such manipulations I often do actually feel sick. There is a genuine pain/sickness when being ignored or not getting the attention a HPD seeks. In my particular case, I was born with congenital heart disease and have had open heart surgery at 11. I am PERFECTLY fine and have no long-lasting effects from the surgery. I am just like everybody else....But I have used that operation and disease to get sympathy and so when I say im sick, people and family worry about my heart...and because I do have a murmur and palpitations, when i fake that at least shows up on the radar and I act like I didnt know.

The only way to avoid the cry wolf syndrome, is to not be the rescuer. If the HPD knows in advance that you will not be the one to "save" them when sick, then they wont call you or use that as a means of manipulation. I would up front, let the person know through actions and words, that you are NOT the one to be called in crisis time.... Otherwise, you are correct, you will never know if it is "real" or not.

Bountyman, mylife's explanation of the pre-cancer thing rings true... read more on it if you like. If it is in fact caused by HPV, you should know that is an STD.

Wikipedia wrote:About a dozen HPV types (including types 16, 18, 31 and 45) are called "high-risk" types because they can cause cervical cancer, as well as anal cancer, vulvar cancer, head and neck cancers, and penile cancer (Parkin 2006).

I think you should get checked out if you've had unprotected sex with her.

Also, it isn't illegal for the nurse to tell you your gf hasn't had an appointment, no. A bit unprofessional, but the fact that she WASN'T there is okay to tell. If they confirmed her visit, that might be a little different.

Uh, I seriously don't think you can 'catch' cancer at all, through any means whatsoever, from another person. Let alone via unprotected sex. I'm no doctor though. But yeah, Cancer is just a collection of cancerous cells. If those cells don't belong to you, your body simply rejects them, cancer or not. Unless you are taking drugs to suppress the T-cells....

This is a little different. HPV is almost the sole cause of cervical cancer but can also lead to other cancers if untreated. HPV itself is an STD. Like I said, different than most cancers whose causes are sometimes a number of factors including diet, heredity, environmental factors, etc.

More information:
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/cervic ... ncercn.htm
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV

Uh, I seriously don't think you can 'catch' cancer at all, through any means whatsoever, from another person. Let alone via unprotected sex. I'm no doctor though. But yeah, Cancer is just a collection of cancerous cells. If those cells don't belong to you, your body simply rejects them, cancer or not. Unless you are taking drugs to suppress the T-cells....