is it possible that no one can diagnose HPD

by **needlessus** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:50 pm

My long-term (4,5 years) girlfriend went to see many therapists. Although I think she is 100 percent hp, she'd tell me that the therapists told her she either has personality rupture, or panic attack. When I checked these disorders I saw no relationship btwn what she was suffering from and these disorders. Is it possible that these therapists would be so far off the mark? Or, being an hp, she might be telling me another lie? We are no longer together. As expected she was the one who dumped. Because of all the hpd stuff she pulled on me I'm never gonna go back to her (as I did many times previously), but I'd like very much that she found out that she suffers from a serious disorder. I feel that I need for closure that she found out about her crooked personality.

Its completely possible for a therapist to misdiagnose her but yeah it could also be her simply lying to you about what was said.

HPD can be confused with BPD and Bipolar disorder at times as well.

Also if an HPD isn't willing to undergo therapy of their own free will but rather is forced into it by the demands of a boyfriend or husband to do so its entirely possible the HPD will put on a convincing normalcy act similar to what other sociopaths who don't want to be found out in such a situation might do and make the therapist believe you are the crazy one so they can turn the situation around say you are the crazy one with authority now that a professional has said the problem is really with you and more importantly they get what they want of not having to attend therapy meetings anymore.

by **starz** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 5:02 pm

Hi Needlessus

You need to move on. I understand that you may feel that this person knowing that she has a PD (whether she has or not) may give her some 'divine understanding' as to what went wrong in your relationship. It really doesnt happen that way. Even if she does get Dx'd, its a long road to travel. You have chosen not to travel it.

Let it go, and realise that this person wasnt right for you. You cannot control someone, or fix their problems, you can only focus on yourself.

Take the lessons you have learned from this, and move forward, to a rewarding life.

You do not need to carry this with you - if she has a PD then this wasnt your fault.
Good luck.

by **needlessus** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:26 pm

Many thanks for your comments. As in other (more normal) relations one finds it difficult to let go. Esp. after 4,5 years of tears, suffering and what have you.
She now says that she has benefited greatly from my very long e-mail in which I went over almost all the crises, evaluating them from an HPD viewpoint. (I learned a lot at this forum, btw.) It was 18 single-spaced pages, and -- it turned out -- I made a very strong case in favor of the HPD.
She now says that my e-mail brought her such an enlightenment (used the word near-death experience) she is very grateful, and she'll now pursue therapy based on my letter. (earlier, her shrinks -- she used to tell -- found either panic attack or personality rupture.)
I know, most will say: move on.
I am very bitter, humiliated, and unlike earlier times not-so-ready to forgive and forget.
I wish her, however, all the best. I do not think being so was her fault. Probably early childhood drama, her mom leaving her behind with her dad at the age of 3, and only seeing her once or twice a month, and what have you.
Anyway. Thanks for replies. More would be welcome.

is it possible that no one can diagnose HPD

is it possible that no one can diagnose HPD

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