Need Help

I realize I have tendicies of HPD. These are:

1-Craving for praise and approval.

2- Speak to please others.

3- Difficulty in doing anything where no immediate recongnition reward is there.

4- Quite fluid state of emontions which keep on changing. Same is the case with decisions making: make a decision and then revist it so frequently that most of the times simply change/reverse it.

5- Tendency to compare myself with others and feel jealousy.

6- Presently, I am feeling quite depressed, stressed, having insufficient energy to carry out even day to day activities (and even physical pain in some body parts, espcially lower part: legs and ankels), a state of inertia (difficult to start a new task or finish an ongoing task), and a strong aversion to and fear of change.

Could someone please suggest me some self help tips to cope with these tendencies and feelings and ways to cure them.

This may or may not help but the only thing I can find that matches your request is from my Emotional Vampires book on histrionics so here it is...

The Goal

The most important goal for Histrionics is to learn to take care of themselves rather than using their charm, devotion, or needinesss to get other people to take care of them. They should also work on recognizing and expressing their negative emotions consciously. This usually requires the help of a professional.

Professional Help

Histrionics profit from an approach that emphasizes thinking rather than aimless recounting of unconnected feelings. Many New Age approaches make Histrionics feel better by not requiring them to change a single thing about their wonderful selves. Consider therapy of this sort like going to a day spa. Calming, but very temporary.

More than any other kind of Emotional Vampires, Histrionics can benefit from an examination of their past. The focus should be on recognizing continuity in their own thoughts, feelings, and choices, rather than on cataloging the things that others have done to them.

Self Help

If you recognize Histrionic tendencies in yourself, the following exercises will be very difficult for you, but they will make a difference.

Let Your Thoughts Be Your Guide. First, learn to recognize the difference between what you think and what you feel. Try to make more decisions based on thinking.

Do Things for Yourself and by Yourself. Try it. You may come to like your own company.

Ask for What You Want Everybody takes; it's a law of nature that no amount of good intentions can repeal. It's far better to be aware of what you want and ask other people to give it to you. It's not selfish if you say please and thank you.

Openly Disagree With Somebody Every Day Say it nicely, but say it.

Banish the Phrase I Don't Know from Your Vocabulary. Try not to space out when people ask you tough questions. The things you need most to think about are always the ones that are most difficult.

What Will Hurt

Emotional Vampires tend to select therapeutic approaches that make them worse rather than better. Histrionics would prefer medical treatment for their aches and pains rather than any examination of psychological issues that may be causing them. If two doctors say the problem is psychological, check with a psychiatrist or psychologist before looking for further physical remedies.

Many Histrionics have been damaged by "abuse" therapies that list the sorts of symptoms victims should experience and the stages that they must go through to be healed. Histrionics will happily do whatever is expected, even if it destroys them and all their relationships except the one with their therapist.

Histrionics probably shouldn't be treated by counselors who have what they have, or do what they do, even if the counselor purport to be recovering from it. Fellow sufferers sometimes forget that real recovery means growing out of the need to have people depend on you the way you depended on your therapist.