VERY RECENT NEW HPD DIAGNOSIS - Help!

Dear All,

I am a gay man in his early thirties who was very recently diagnosed with HPD in the course of a routine psychological examination aimed at my clearance for a professional opportunity that was ideal for me, and which – alas – has failed to materialize as a result of this diagnosis. I had made significant personal sacrifices to ensure this professional opportunity panned out. I considered myself to have a peculiar and/or idiosyncratic personality, but ultimately normal and not in any way pathological or maladaptive.

I am writing this to see if you can give me your opinion on three items. My main focus now is confirming this diagnosis and seeking help.

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(1) While I had no choice but to do my best in the diagnostic drawings of a house/person/tree & my family, as well as the biographical discussion, I was not very truthful when filling out the Minnesota Personality Inventory. As everyone, I am acutely aware of what behaviors are expected from a normal functioning member of society. I felt most were leading questions that had a clear “sane” versus “insane” response. So, in questions like “In a party, I like to sit at the outside talking to only one other person”, I evidently said False; while in questions like “I'm a spirited person who likes to entertain others”, I said True... These answers may not necessarily always be in synch with what actually takes place in my real life. I simply felt being gregarious was a desirable social trait, and responded accordingly.

Do any of you know if the main basis of the diagnosis was the Minnesota? If it was, the psychologist could have inferred a greater need to be validated as the center of attention than I actually have.

Sometimes, I like to be the center of attention when I am among a group of close trusted friends, all of whom enjoy the 'punch' I put to the stories, anecdotes and jokes I tell. But among even fairly well-known acquaintances, I stand back and let others be the ones talking or sharing. I become a scaredy cat: with people I don't know well, I wouldn't want to be the center of attention for all the tea in China.

My reading of the descriptions of the symptoms make me evoke a Lady-Gaga-like type of show-off. Could my responses in the Minnesota have led to a misdiagnosis?

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(2) There are several major traits of HPD which I don't think I have at all. Some I can admit to having in a major way. For others, the answer would be subjective or incidental.

I DO NOT HAVE IN ANY DISCERNIBLE WAY:
- Inappropriately seductive appearance.
- Using somatic symptoms (of physical illness) to garner attention.
- Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.
- Blaming personal failures or disappointments on others.

UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT INCONSISTENTLY, I MAY EXHIBIT:
- A need to be the center of attention (see my caveat above in #1).
- Tendency toward risk-taking.
- Exhibitionist behavior.
- Pride of own personality and unwillingness to change.
- Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.
- Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.
- Making rash decisions.
- Being overly dramatic and emotional.

I DEFINITELY HAVE:
- Exaggeration of difficulties.
- Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.
- Sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.
- Being easily influenced by others, especially those who treat me approvingly.
- Becoming easily disinterested in things I was originally very passionate for.

Again, could there have been a misdiagnosis on the basis of the absent and iffy elements?

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(3) There are many things I did not share with the psychologist, as I tried to avoid discussing things which would portray me in an exaggerated negative light. I was as truthful as I felt one could be without begging to be disqualified, discussing my life story in truthful broad stokes, but not stopping to discuss elements that could seem weird even to the average joe.

Based on the below, do you find any potential co-morbidity that could help me seek better help? Alternatively, could these support a misdiagnosis?

- Since childhood or early teenage years, I have had two stereotypies that consist of (1) me rubbing my hands very forcefully as though I were really cold, and (2) me taking quick short sprints to get to places indoors, as though I were in an urgent hurry, when I am indeed not... Both of these take place when I become excited about a potential future outcome or when things are going my way. They can also happen when I feel nervous or cornered... Throughout the years, people – even within my family – have humored me about these physical reactions.

- I have an active daydream life where I envision events that have no likelihood of ever happening. Even though I am gay, I could picture myself having married a childhood female friend or a former colleague, thinking of where I'd like our children to study or the like. I could picture myself being a TV personality and what I would opine about the current topics of the day, even though in actual life I would dread such a job. I can picture myself having married into royalty, and what titles of nobility and styles of address would accompany my position... etc, etc, etc... I am however not actively psychotic, as I am very aware that these are fantasies, that they will not happen, and I have no illusion of them being true.

- I have a sort of OCD that leads me to check I have my wallet, keys and phone on me whenever I am leaving or entering any place. I check when I leave home and I recheck as I am stepping out of the car to enter work, even though I realize it is unfeasible a loss could transpire in such a scenario. When I lived alone in an apartment, I also liked to check I had locked the door at least 3 or 4 times before leaving.

- While I have no ED problems during masturbation (which I do rather frequently), I experience a type of performance anxiety that makes me experience ED while in sexual encounters with other men, leading me to adopt the passive role (for convenience) even if I may be interested in adopting the active role. Even medication such as Viagra or Cialis are useless when this anxiety sets in.

- At periods of my life, I have resorted to extreme promiscuity, although always practicing safe sex. For example, I went to a bathhouse once and had sex with 6 different partners in one night. However, after these “peak” episodes I can spend months and months on end without any desire for sexual contact with other people, simply resorting to masturbation routinely.

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Any insight that can be given to me on these topics will be greatly appreciated. Feel free to ask me to elaborate or clarify anything I have said... I am really looking to get help if I really need it.

Sincerely,

RingingTruth

Have u tried to get a second opinion from another professional? Most people here are trying to understand themselves and they have disorders so, it would be hard to get a certain answer. Try to be more honest with your psychologist, if he is a good one he wont be judgemental

But personally I think you have mixture traits from PDs. It is not necessary to fit under a diagnostic criteria but it is important to understand your personality traits.

I hope what I am saying makes sense.

What lead you to see a psychologist? People were telling you something or someone suggested or you figured out something was not right?

What is your main goal in this thread - diagnosing or right treatment or simply discussing issues?

Jatin : As I had mentioned, the diagnosis came in the context of a routine psychological evaluation for a professional opportunity I was pursuing. As a result of the diagnosis, the opportunity has vanished.

Any of the three you mention: confirming diagnosis, help in finding the right type of treatment, or discussion of issues would be tremendously helpful.

Thanks !

RingingTruth wrote:Jatin : As I had mentioned, the diagnosis came in the context of a routine psychological evaluation for a professional opportunity I was pursuing. As a result of the diagnosis, the opportunity has vanished.

Any of the three you mention: confirming diagnosis, help in finding the right type of treatment, or discussion of issues would be tremendously helpful.

Thanks !

I wish I could diagonose by that could be aganst roules....


So next treatment, most believe, impossible...
Discussion seems to be only possible in PMs

Hi RingingTruth -

Yes, members cannot diagnose on this forum; likewise we are not qualified to dispute the diagnosis you've received.

If you feel your diagnosis is incorrect I would also recommend seeking a second opinion.

I am confused and a bit surprised ... Most people here are aware of their problems because they were going through tough time and they were forced by their circuimstances to visit a psychologist... So, they already are expecting/looking for a diagnosis. But you didnt want any diagnosis because of the oppurtunity, also as you said you are acutely aware of normal behaviour so, you answered questions accordingly.
Then how do you think he was able to diagnose you....

The treatment I think could be answering the questions why do you do what you do, why hou have all the symptoms/problems you are telling us, what are the reas

-- Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:53 pm --

What are the reasons behind these thing, the core reasons, you have to find the root or roots of it...

Once we know the causes we can thnk of solutions...

RingingTruth -

I agree your situation is unique in that you hadn't gone to a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist because your life is not working.

As you know, it happens that medical doctors sometimes misdiagnose patients for a variety of physical ailments. The same is true of psychologists and psychiatrists.

I think the best advise you got is to seek another opinion if you don't feel the diagnosis applies to you.

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