Songs wrote for a histrionic?

"Driving in Cars with Boys", Lana Del Ray [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7XnNFD6hUE ]


They say I'm wasting time, they said that I'm no good
'Cause Imma love my life, not doing what I should
Call me poison ivy 'cause I'm far from good
Pretty from afar, like a dark star

They say I'm dangerous, they think I'm really bad,
I'm just making up for what I never had
Go out at night whenever I feel sad
Oh this drive by love got me crazy like a drug

I wear my wig, lipstick, got my make up on
Stumble into trouble, siren with a sad song
They all got girlfriends but i'm the one that they want

Miss America with the blue mascara on

I spent my whole life driving in cars with boys,
Riding 'round town drinking in the white noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know
Spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys
Playing rock n roll dancing in the loud noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know

Mommy's Mercedes or Billy's pick up truck
Comes out late at night and baby picks me up
Tell him just drive on and d-don't ever stop
Don't take me home again take me to a new land

I wear my red lipstick, grab my coat and gun
Wonder if this is it, its darkest before dawn
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]
Sometimes I wanna give in but I just have to go on
Miss America now I'm gone, baby, gone.

I spent my whole life driving in cars with boys,
Riding 'round town drinking in the white noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know
Spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys
Playing rock n roll dancing in the loud noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know

I was born to live fast die young
Leave a beautiful corpse, live my life on the run
Got my cash, my Louis Vuitton, diamonds and guns
Girls just wanna just wanna have fun

I spent my whole life driving in cars with boys,
Riding 'round town drinking in the white noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.

I spent my whole life driving in cars with boys,
Riding 'round town drinking in the white noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know
Spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys
Playing rock n roll dancing in the loud noise
Used to talk about where we've been and where we go.
Now we know, baby, now we know

It's kind of a "girls will be girls" song, but some of the lyrics especially register with me. To me, the song is about wasting your life searching for outside validation. "I spent my whole life driving in cars with boys, Spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys". At the height of my disorder, my life completely revolved around what I was going to wear, where I was going for the night, who I was going to see. It was shallow, and to me, a waste. Instead of putting energy into school or building a career, I was debating on outfits. It was an addiction.

"They say I'm dangerous, they think I'm really bad,
I'm just making up for what I never had
Go out at night whenever I feel sad
Oh this drive by love got me crazy like a drug"

Yep, that's me. Trying to fill myself with all the attention I can get to fill my inner void.

exquisitecorpse