I am HPD and have some thoughts

Yeah lets go Mylife. We need to start telling those victims to suck our HPD's and like it. Vulgarity aside, welcome. Victims are just that, victims, and as such unworthy of your time or concern.

i fear becoming old and unattractive like the plague; it's like losing your powere...ugh, having HPD can be exhausting, am i right?

"An extremely beautiful and stunning appearance is very important to an HPD"

Question for KontrollerX:

Is this always true? Do all hpd's spend a lot of time in front of the mirror applying make-up and only wearing the latest trends/sexy clothes? The woman I'm asking about has ALL of the characteristics of hpd except this one. She never wears make-up and she dresses kind of dowdy. She also has cuts on her body. Does this automatically mean she must be bpd as well? Or do some hpd's cut themselves/attempt suicide as well?

Yes appearance is so important to an HPD that I would go so far as to say a woman who exhibits all the traits except that is probably not an HPD but rather a BPD instead and with the cuts you have observed all over the woman's body that you know I'm going to go ahead and say she is probably a BPD only as far as Cluster B Personality Disorders are concerned.

Basically they are the same disorder but BPD is the higher severity as people with it experience more emotional turmoil and have a harder time getting through the day than your average HPD.

BPD's cut themselves or do other self harm because they start to feel as though they don't exist or feel so empty they get scared and cutting or hurting themselves physically is the only thing that reconnects them to reality and makes them feel alive again pretty much.

HPD's don't self injure unless it really was an accident or if they are incredibly desperate to get attention.

So yeah the reasons for an HPD to self injure would always be attention based and even with my speculating on this I seriously doubt any HPD would go the self injury route to get attention unless she was at the end of her rope and no one was falling for her games anymore and she deemed it the only way to get attention.

So anyway HPD's and BPD's have been seperated into their own diagnosis's because even though they are so close to being the same disorder totally there are still many differences to them both and obviously enough to warrent them both being given their own diagnostic name.

[quote="KontrollerX"]Yes appearance is so important to an HPD that I would go so far as to say a woman who exhibits all the traits except that is probably not an HPD but rather a BPD instead and with the cuts you have observed all over the woman's body that you know I'm going to go ahead and say she is probably a BPD only as far as Cluster B Personality Disorders are concerned.

KX, I read at more than one site that some hpds are not necessaily into appearance. Those who were not as concerned (mine was not) it turns out usually suffer from somatization disorders. (mine did). After all, both traits draw attention, right?
Don't know how valid this is though. But I got to know one who did not nearly as much care about the looks as other women I know who were not hpd. I often wonder about the reasons for her poor taste re: clothes & make up. Could it be that her real self was submerged? (She let me pick her clothes and what have you. Otherwise -- although she was extremely intelligent -- she had an awkward way picking clothes. Basically no taste.)

KontrollerX - I will just explain a little more and I want to know if you still think she is bpd over hpd:

Yes, she had cuts on her body but there are only a couple on her arms. Not all over her body. And yes she dresses dowdy. But, more in drab colors and not-stylish clothes. But, her clothes are worn tight fitting to accentuate her body shape. But, like needlesus says the woman I know, like his, seems to have no real taste in clothing.

Also, bpd's can get very angry in public. Am I correct? The woman I know is always very polite, charming, helpless and innocent in public. Like she is perfect and never would ever show her anger. You would think she was the most helpless/harmless person you had ever met in your life. But, her personality is hpd in overdrive. I think she is a severe hpd and therefore more of an hpd/bpd. But, I am no expert. I could be wrong. Let me know what you think.

Also, once you break your ties with an hpd or a hpd/bpd have you ever heard of them going to places you go to that they normally wouldn't go to or would they drive by or walk by your home or work place and invade your territoy just to bother you? Why would they do this?

Just wondering what you think?

"Also, bpd's can get very angry in public. Am I correct? The woman I know is always very polite, charming, helpless and innocent in public. Like she is perfect and never would ever show her anger. You would think she was the most helpless/harmless person you had ever met in your life. But, her personality is hpd in overdrive. I think she is a severe hpd and therefore more of an hpd/bpd. But, I am no expert. I could be wrong. Let me know what you think."

Typically BPD's and HPD's hide their true and total nature in public so that when things end badly and you are hurt by them and are angry you look like the crazy messed up one to other people and not them.

(No HPD's and BPD's aren't actually crazy ie insane but the behaviour they exhibit makes it an easy insult or descriptive word to call them by their victims or friends who become their victims at times and is in general American society's terms for such outlandish behaviour outside the norm)

The only way to avoid this is to do the hardest thing ever and thats just calmly tell people what happened in the relationship if you wish and think they need to know and the true reason why it ended and calmly state how you feel as to get over emotional in telling the story makes it look like the HPD or BPD had a good reason to betray and get rid of you as clearly with all your angry emotions in telling other people about how angry you are at your experience you must've been abusive in some way be it physical or emotional.

Everyone has to remember that most normal people like we victims (at first) are unaware about these conditions and even those aware of them tend to be poorly educated on them and aren't aware of how horribly hurtful these people can be ie what they are capable of, so for you to start telling your mutual friends that it ended because the girl or guy was mentally disordered tends to come off as sour grapes moreso than the truth.

Well if you remain calm and persistent in your version of the story being true and hers being false you are usually vindicated as the mutual friends observe and experience her cruel peculiar behaviour over time as well and gradually come over to your side and then sometimes she even loses those friends and her friend base entirely and has to move on and rebuild among new unsuspecting people beginning the horrible cycle all over again.

"Also, once you break your ties with an hpd or a hpd/bpd have you ever heard of them going to places you go to that they normally wouldn't go to or would they drive by or walk by your home or work place and invade your territoy just to bother you? Why would they do this? "

Yes absolutely.

BPD's and HPD's both may do this if someone breaks up with them as this breaking up with them makes them feel invalidated so they will want to try to get you back with them with whatever it takes be it manipulative crying, promising you anything you want if only you get back together with her and yes indeed even showing up at places you frequent hoping you see her either by herself or with some new guy she likely picked up just that night in hopes of making you jealous.

In cases like this don't give in and act jealous just act bored and hang out with your new girl or friends and if the stalking continues and you want rid of it get a restraining order or go back to the woman and act pathetically in love as that tends to drive HPD's and BPD's away as these two conditions are both diseases of intimacy.

In closing to answer your question directly what the HPD is after is validation.

Validation is the reason for just about everything they do.

"KX, I read at more than one site that some hpds are not necessaily into appearance. Those who were not as concerned (mine was not) it turns out usually suffer from somatization disorders. (mine did). After all, both traits draw attention, right?
Don't know how valid this is though. But I got to know one who did not nearly as much care about the looks as other women I know who were not hpd. I often wonder about the reasons for her poor taste re: clothes & make up. Could it be that her real self was submerged? (She let me pick her clothes and what have you. Otherwise -- although she was extremely intelligent -- she had an awkward way picking clothes. Basically no taste.)"

Well there have been things I've studied too that say that HPD has severities whereas one person would be a total HPD and another would be half HPD and half DPD ie Dependant Personality Disorder or something else that makes up the other half of his or her personality outside of HPD and you just said it yourself that yours seems to suffer from somatization disorder and that to my understanding pretty much means someone who is obsessed with their body in one way or another and this disorder I've read tends to accompany HPD but is a seperate disorder from HPD so I'd say your HPD is a half and half combination of HPD and this other disorder which explains why she wouldn't be a makeup wearer or obsessed with things like that.

For a total Histrionic though makeup is pretty much a 110% certainty.

Here's the Wikipedia Mnemonic on the disorder which includes the mention of makeup in it.

Mnemonic

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is PRAISE ME[1][2]:

* P - provocative (or seductive) behaviour
* R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
* A - attention, must be at center of
* I - influenced easily
* S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
* E - emotional lability, shallowness

* M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
* E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical

[quote="
"KX, I read at more than one site that some hpds are not necessaily into appearance. Those who were not as concerned (mine was not) it turns out usually suffer from somatization disorders. (mine did). After all, both traits draw attention, right?
Don't know how valid this is though. But I got to know one who did not nearly as much care about the looks as other women I know who were not hpd. I often wonder about the reasons for her poor taste re: clothes & make up. Could it be that her real self was submerged? (She let me pick her clothes and what have you. Otherwise -- although she was extremely intelligent -- she had an awkward way picking clothes. Basically no taste.)"

Well there have been things I've studied too that say that HPD has severities whereas one person would be a total HPD and another would be half HPD and half DPD ie Dependant Personality Disorder or something else that makes up the other half of his or her personality outside of HPD and you just said it yourself that yours seems to suffer from somatization disorder and that to my understanding pretty much means someone who is obsessed with their body in one way or another and this disorder I've read tends to accompany HPD but is a seperate disorder from HPD so I'd say your HPD is a half and half combination of HPD and this other disorder which explains why she wouldn't be a makeup wearer or obsessed with things like that.

For a total Histrionic though makeup is pretty much a 110% certainty.

Here's the Wikipedia Mnemonic on the disorder which includes the mention of makeup in it.

Mnemonic

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is PRAISE ME[1][2]:

* P - provocative (or seductive) behaviour
* R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
* A - attention, must be at center of
* I - influenced easily
* S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
* E - emotional lability, shallowness

* M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
* E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical[/quote]
well,
to be fair to everyone here,
I should say
that there is a distinct differentiation
between
different types of attention seeking.
And
as far as know
there is no one specific way
that hpds eveolve.
If anyone wants to typecast hpds in certain ways
they are welcome
but I don't think that they are so easily categoricalizable (if this is a correct word).
KX knows that I suffered a lot at the hands of a hpd suspect.
Yet
I very much doubt
that one can so easily categorize people
and even say
that they are 60 % hpd
and 20% npd
and 20% avoidant pd.
In real world it is not so.,
Please, let the shrinks do their job.
Please do NOT diagnose people here.
Esp. if you don't have the qualifications for it.

Well we don't and can't actually diagnose anyone anyway as to have a diagnosis label one has to get it from the professionals but we can speculate and guess especially if someone comes here asking for our take and opinion on things.

Also the 50/50 thing is just another guess of mine that people here ask for all the time and with the information you provided in this case thats all I can guess on it needlessus.