HPD/AsPD relationships

exquisitecorpse wrote:
But malignant narcs....HELL NO. They are awful, awful, awful....

What do you see is the difference between the 2, or rather what do you see as attributes of a "malignent narc", not sure I can visualize what it means.

As best friends: did he accept you flirted around (if you did)?

catch22 -

Yes, it's a complicated topic, but behind the topic is a seemingly simple philosophical question. What works better? Every cell/insect/animal/human for itself? Or.. Cooperative behavior?

In reality it's not that simple, not a black or white matter, but it is a key question that has deep implications. In the short term (relative to how long life has been on earth), humans are rapidly proliferating, apparently because of their cooperative efforts, but long term? Long term there is the possibility we cause our own species to fail, whether that's due to resource exhaustion, war*, or due to some small organism like a virus defeating us.

*The book does talk about the apparent reality though that group cooperation is also related to why we humans fight so much with each other. That because of our strong tendency to association ourselves with a group, we also are inclined to fight with others who are in a different group, even if we share 99% of the same genes. Racism, sexism, nationalism, tribalism, my family vs your family, my team vs your team, etc., are all examples of group vs group thinking that often ends up with us fighting with each other.

It goes beyond that though. An earth covered with vast quantities of less cooperative creatures doesn't have an obvious long term value either.

I have no answers, but I do see some parallels between how individuals approach life. Where 'disordered' types may tend to be mostly focused on what they want/need, while neurotic types may tend to focus more on what the group want/needs. Neither is entirely content all the time. Still in the context of this thread, it does seem many disordered types want (or think they want) the benefits of neurotic/cooperative relationships, but at the same time want the benefits of their 'disordered'/separatist thinking too.

It's been written many times, that for all an HPD's social behavior and approval seeking, she/he is essentially a loner, and on some level, apparently, doesn't want to be too tied down to any one relationship, wants the benefits of being a loner too.

Something that dawned on me all of a sudden:

I DO think NPD men are interesting prey for an HPD woman as she plays into the narc. supply of them, then drops it. Then bounces back etc. It's the Achilles heel of a narcissist. So that's the cat and mouse game. And still a Narc could be a more interesting prey than a regular non -- so boring. That can also explain why it must be hard for an HPD to see any fault: we all play a game, we all pursue our own interests but you were dumb enough to fall for it.

That would make someone with ASPD traits a bit more interesting to her: he doesn't have that heel and it becomes the clash of the titans and more unattainable.

As for the 2 contrasts: neurotic vs disordered: well functioning Class B have it both. The supply (narcissist supply or HPD fan club etc) fulfills the role of the "cooperative", the collective, the community. The disordered part comes into play how a Class B wants to deal with them -- ultimately their sole decision. Obama is supposedly a narcissist and has a different way of dealing with them then say a psychopath like Skilling of Enron. Both built communities with that "neurotic/cooperative" intention.

That makes that group such potentially formidable opponents.

catch22 -

Admit I've had those same thoughts.

I feel extremely bored. In fact I was too bored to read the whole thread before posting. What has my boredom to do with HPD/ASPD relationships? Nothing I guess. Still I wanna share this thought with you guys.. When I feel this way it's like I can't stop devaluing everything and everyone. I have a lot of anger inside of me. Today I even grew bored of my NPD man that I never aimed to devalue. Why? Because I think I can control him so easily. The only thing I have to do is to love bomb him every day. I'm in charge and it makes me unhappy. After all, of course I love him and this is just a phase. It'll pass sooner or later.

So, I met a guy 2 years ago. He is diagnosed with ASPD and I feel he understands me perfectly. He is a violent man but he's never been violent to me. Maybe that's why I feel so special. He must love me. For some reason, I can't stop thinking about him. I need to be the one who succesfully tames him. I've got no clue why I can't stop idolising him. He seems to understand the problem of boredom. He seems to understand everything. I feel like Jlo and he's my Ben. lol... I went nuts but now I'm fine. I was just fantasising. A lil bit of fantasy helps me to get rid of boredom.