As a Narc, I am very attracted to Histrionic women

VirginiaEsquire wrote:

As a Narc, I am very attracted to Histrionic women


Any thoughts from anyone?

lilo wrote:

VirginiaEsquire wrote:Any thoughts from anyone?

a histrionic chick will chew you up and spit you out and you won't leave the slightest mark on her psyche. save your wiles for the nons, narc.

Play time, feel free to message me

catch22 wrote:@VirginiaEsq:

On the link xdude gave (http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html) one can find the following quote about NPD/BPD

In truth, the Narcissist is no match for the Borderline. It doesn't matter how smart or powerful he is, she'll turn his world upside-down to where he could lose his entire fortune, acquire a serious disease, and become a shadow of his former self. The Narcissist's grandiosity works against him in this type of coupling, because he has an unquenchable need to win, due to self-worth issues. He won't let himself be one-upped by anyone, but the Borderline is always better at this game than he is. As he cannot tolerate this loss of control, he'll literally fight to the death to maintain it--never realizing what he's losing/giving up, while highly focused on surmounting this challenge.

A Narcissistic perfectionist believes; "If I feel bad in a relationship, it must be my fault." The Borderline believes; "If I feel bad in a relationship, it has to be your fault."

So if this holds true for BPD's who are (supposedly) more introvert what does it say about the chance an NPD has with HPD? I guess none, because contrary to an BPD the HPD has a HUGE supply at her disposal at any time. So not only does a Narc feel it's his fault, but the HPD will also give him the blame AND THEN PUNISHES him for it by switching him off in a milisecond, replace him for tons of attention elsewhere, possibly leading to sleeping with other guys.

It's the perfect storm.

Exactly!

The only thing is.. people are not stereotypes.

So.. a NPD with a lot of self-awareness, some self-control and actually having rectified some of his own responses may not get away unscathed, but his instincts probably would give a warning sign when it'd get too hot. He may not be a pure npD (emphasis on D) at this point.

Lil Wayne already said it: "I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat". But you need to know when you start to sweat and when you sweat so much it becomes stinky and you need a shower.

At the same time a HPD is maybe not purely HPD and in general is not a robot either. She too may have some self-awareness and be more mellow at things than the ruthless B/W thinking so the same story above holds for her. She may get more emotionally involved than expected, a supply may not help, and so on. She may not be a pure hpD (emphasis on D) at this point.

What I notice in all of these threads is the extreme compartmentalization. I remember talking to psychs. a lot and they prefer to just classify it as "a PD" with.... I think many of us are. I did 2 of these tests posted here some time ago, and I think I scored very high in 3 PD's. So obviously it's a mixed bag and we probably use ONE of these mechanisms to respond to ONE particular individual.

catch22 -

I agree with that, though the title of this thread (and the OPs comments) is along the lines of attraction because of the disorder (where many other threads are along the lines of attraction in-spite of the disorder).

Personally I think that's honest, that often there is an attraction to the disordered thinking at play (even if the other person isn't entirely cognizant that's the attraction), and that the OP is being honest and insightful.

Still, I have no perfect analogy, but you've likely heard this common story -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpi ... n_analogue

So if the thread's title was "I am very attracted to Scorpions" it would be reasonable to ask why one would expect not to get stung too.

You know you see something similar when people are attracted to aggressive AsPD types, who get it into their head that they can get some benefits out of an alliance with a person like that, but also think 'I am special, he/she wouldn't hurt me', only to end up eventually beaten, conned, dead themselves.

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum and think I can add my own experiences to this one.

I am a male with strong npd and histrionic traits and have a history of being attracted to and dating histrionic females. It's only very recently that I became self aware and life is difficult. I came across this forum and everything suddenly made sense (Masquerade is wonderful! she's really opened my eyes).

Much of my behavioural traits are the same so it always seems to start out the same way when I meet an hpd girl. Lots of mirroring, attention seeking behaviour, etc. ( I'm a bodybuilder so get attention wherever I go which is great ).

I absolutely love histrionic women and actively seek them out knowing full well that we will both suffer in the end. It's so worth it and I actually love the drama that goes with the relationship. As you might guess it always ends badly but I'm addicted to these relationships. Non's seem dull by comparison.

A lot of information on the net is so negative but never forget that anyone with hpd is still a person that deserves respect. People need to start accepting people more and without histrionic women the world would be a very boring place.

My most recent relationship was the ultimate in drama as she had extremely strong hpd traits. Fun and turmoil all at the same time. It lasted 4 months which is a very long time for me. Both of us were cat stringing and multi texting others at the same time so there were no rights or wrongs. What I would say is that if you are an narc male don't think you'll get off lightly...it's fun and hpd women are wonderful but you will get hurt. That's a guarantee.

So if this holds true for BPD's who are (supposedly) more introvert what does it say about the chance an NPD has with HPD? I guess none, because contrary to an BPD the HPD has a HUGE supply at her disposal at any time. So not only does a Narc feel it's his fault, but the HPD will also give him the blame AND THEN PUNISHES him for it by switching him off in a milisecond, replace him for tons of attention elsewhere, possibly leading to sleeping with other guys.

It's the perfect storm.

I am a female who suffers with traits of histrionic, borderline and narcissism...I was a fitness model so I get a lot of attention in general, but I am very attracted to narcs. What happens is exactly what he mentioned above. Once they start to ignore me I will severely punish him (with words only). It literally makes me feel insane when he takes away my supply and I know that he is giving someone else attention. He will say that he's focused on his "work", but that's total BS.

I almost always have multiple "admirers" that I will keep around for other supply, but they are not as good as the supply for a narc at the beginning when he's "love-bombing" me. Very addictive relationship. Yes, I want control and I will do whatever I can to get it. I want to win. I want to be the one who always walks away, which I do all the time at the slightest hint of him pulling away. I reign him in and then push him away constantly. It's a joke. I can't believe that he would come back after the all the mean things that I say to him. I am not bragging about the way that I act. It is a horrible way to live and very painful. I am terrified of being abandoned and I will push away as soon as I see any hint of that.

I have lived my life this way with no idea that I was doing it for years. It was all very unconscious and frankly "beyond my control" like John Malkovich said in Dangerous Liaisons. I had an epiphany a few weeks ago and have been on the hunt for knowledge and am seeing a therapist.

It is a horrible feeling to have been so cruel to someone, even though the Narc deserves it..kidding!
I am trying to have compassion for myself and for the Narc that I just pushed away for the millionth time. I am not going back to that. I have found a "secure" man who is very kind and not a Narc so as "boring" as it is, I am giving the relationship a chance. By boring I mean that I am not on a roller coaster emotionally, which as most of you know is what "feels" normal.

Just thought I would chime in since it seems like this is mostly men who are commenting. I kept looking for ways to "make" the Narc want me and want to stay without seeking new supply and I know now that's not possible. In some ways I don't want to give up the "highs" but then I think it isn't worth it when I have to deal with the lows of him pulling away so drastically after we have an amazing time together.

I just told him that I wanted to see him and then completely blocked him every where.
This is such an old thread..wondering if anyone will respond.

Hi, Esquire. I am an Histrionic diagnosed woman.
I am in couple with a Narc from 2 years and still and was married with a Narc for 5 years and had a baby.
I must tell you and ask you something after reading your post that caught my attention: Are you talking of physical attraction, menthal attraction or of Love in your writing?

Because I must tell you that Histrionic as Narc, both do not like to touch the subject of Love because it is not their territory, BUT there is a difference between them which is the track from the Narc to the H, the beginning of the story between them starts when the Nrc starts making the net around the H with speaches of Love instead of the same and lonely physical attraction which is the current menu that wakes up the H for her menu.

So, the Narc has a gear more then the multiple others by talking about Love that is the Territory she will never get inside if not well poisoned by the Narc that takes his long and useful time for him to cook the H that is reticent and will remain reticent or unconfortable with such veil, but finally will choose it because excitingly new and not even the same scenario where she knows she will kill the other and leave him alone with magic.

So, the problem is when the Narc is at second step of his job, when he has to put in practice what he told her about Love and to retain her for the long time!
This is their duel working out, not even when they have to share the public opinion.

The drama comes out when the Narc starts putting in pratice his strong and unhealthy jealousy and his strategies to attract all her attention on him and isolating her from the world, all the possible ways, by disappearing also or more frequently than by criticyng her for a nonsense or becoming indifferent to her...

Such step gives birth to a new H woman that either starts playing drama to react and looses the power of seduction but wins the power of unconformism unconditionnally acting wherever to defend her protagonist character , but killing the Narc need of offering an elegant show to the public, or the H submitting to the Narc to put in practice the new thing of Love with all of her passion, will loose her light little by little and become a cat after being a tiger and the Narc will have the territory open to cryticise her but open to his loneliness and to her disappearing by lacking of passion and entering into frigidity which will become her natural weapon as sex is her land where she plays for scores of satisfaction where there is somebody that enlights her imagination to be worthy to be there.

So finally what is required to a Narc to be with a H is to put his attention on her from all the points of views otherwise he will be put in the backstage where her skeletons are all lying and, giving real Love, for a Narc is a very hard job in the long run! For this reason it is intriguing such relation if to think of the efforts from both sides to give and take equally to each other, but if the Narc starts with his predominence he will light fire , struggles, good for H for destroying the Narc .

So after one thousand quarrels between me and my Narc man I am doing maternage that horrifies me and I changed my character for following his fears and encouraging him to be confident to me, but I lost my light and sometimes I regret sometimes I say that I am becoming a banal normal one that is a shame to me ...but this magic word that Love is the only net where incredibly H can fall down but please , do that if you really think she is the one otherwise if it is for a night for a period for a promenade be sincere with her because she is the master for the spot but she is not for the long lasting with Love and you will have to work a lot on you also to keep her by you or it will not be that hard for her to leave you and she will be ok afterwards but it will not be such for you. I am sorry to be so sure aboutwhat I say, but just to give you my long experience and personal in such frame.I wish the best to you and hope you will be very capable with her to have her for your life...if that your intention.