How do you deal with low supply?

I woke up this morning and knew it the moment my eyes were open: my supply is low. It's a primitive feeling akin to thirst or hunger. A subtle thing but strong, an itch that begs to be scratched, an addiction that craves feeding. I'm (for lack of a better word) hungry. Vampire is indeed an apt description of us. Crawled out of bed and put some pumped up music on. Mild hypo mania instantly set in. Now I'm in full predator mode. I'm effervescent, I'm pumped, I'm sparkling with energy and enthusiasm. Even my body language shows it. I have to curb myself lest I literally swagger down the sidewalk. Behind my sunglasses, I appraise every single male I encounter. My gaze is lascivious and I am mentally salivating. Less than a week ago, they would have been beneath my notice. I swear I can almost hear my fangs click out to full exposure mode. So how do I deal with this? It's fun, I feel strong and invincible: the predator instead of the prey. I imagine my supply like a life meter in a video game: somewhere in the last 48 hours I slipped from green into yellow. Yellow is okay, yellow can be fun, living on the edge. After that comes orange, red, and eventually black, which are all bad news. So I'm in phase 1 of the yellow. What do I do? Here are some of the things that work for me, provided I can stay focused and maintain my willpower: 1) redirecting this feverish energy and drive into some sort of challenging job or project 2) sex 3) burning off the energy through physical exertion. These only work provided I stay away from alcohol or any other substance that lowers your inhibitions, and also get enough sleep. Not enough sleep and all of the demons come out. Another observation: this is closely related to my hormone levels. During ovulation and menstruation, my supply depletes faster and sometimes seems like a bottomless pit. In fact I take OTC mood enhancers for about 4 days out of the month during the worst of it, otherwise I'm a histrionic mess and horrible to be around. So here my question: How do you other HPD's deal with this in a positive manner? I'm pretty sure at some point this week I will end up moving one of the groupies into the Fan club, but if that's the worst I do, I will still consider it some type of success.

cant you just write a book on this ?

you are amazing

I 2nd that Torn, you should start writing, your descriptions are so vivid I literally find myself in your shoes

Do you have / plan to have any children? You would be like the first HPD I would recommend to hatch some, as they are an incredible drain on your energy which could be a good thing for you..

darn it.

*a HPD who couln't speak a sentence in English until 4 years ago here*

I want to get compliments too.
My descriptions are nice too if I speak mother language


hehe hi tornprincess.
Nice post! (dunno what u said kind of too long) but if 'non men' say it's awesome it is awesome because they are always definitely right people

Thanks guys. I've actually thought about writing a book - I have a lot to say on the subject. I've spent so many years fighting this internal war, feeling like I'm bouncing back and forth between Little Girl Lost and Ice Queen. Having a Dx, knowing what's going on in my head, not being alone or wondering if I am crazy, and most of all knowing how to fight/cure/recover from this disorder makes an unbelievable world of difference to me. Coming to this forum and being able to be open and honest for the first time in my life has unloosed my tongue and my fingers just fly on the keyboard. I'm so thankful for it, and all of you. It's funny, sometimes when I am being candid and honest and giving advice to non's, I wonder if I am not betraying my own kind? I'm sure there are HP's who don't appreciate me pulling back the curtain, but I don't care. Even though I very frequently want to be bad and just do whatever I want and screw the consequences, at the end of the day my better instincts win out. Usually.

-- Mon May 20, 2013 12:03 pm --

Oh, and no children. I might some day though. That's an interesting take on it, thank u for that. I've been afraid to, mostly because my mother was HPD and I don't want to impart it to another generation, but maybe you are right. I know my pets are incredibly soothing - love in any form is still love. So yeah, maybe a kid.....

Torn, of all that you've written I got to say the thoughts about "hypomania" really stuck in my head.

For various reasons your thoughts on hypomania really 'clicked' with me; maybe a key aspect that I don't recall others talking about.

You know it's kind of interesting that people with bi-polar disorder sometimes refuse treatment because even though the lows aren't enjoyable, the manic phase often is enjoyed. Also true is that manic types can be inspired, driven, successful, so it's not all negative. The negative side is when manic's think/feel grandiose, even delusional, become reckless, etc.

Still, there is an old saying, Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Not surprisingly then manics, when they feel powerful, sometimes end up hurting others around them too.

p.s. I'd read your book Please keep the great insights coming.

ManSuit wrote:cant you just write a book on this ?

you are amazing

this

Thanks guys I like to feel like I'm helping other people. Every +1 on my karma scale makes me that much less likely to be reincarnated as a slug or something. I jest, but really....

xdude wrote:Torn, of all that you've written I got to say the thoughts about "hypomania" really stuck in my head.

For various reasons your thoughts on hypomania really 'clicked' with me; maybe a key aspect that I don't recall others talking about.

You know it's kind of interesting that people with bi-polar disorder sometimes refuse treatment because even though the lows aren't enjoyable, the manic phase often is enjoyed. Also true is that manic types can be inspired, driven, successful, so it's not all negative. The negative side is when manic's think/feel grandiose, even delusional, become reckless, etc.

Still, there is an old saying, Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Not surprisingly then manics, when they feel powerful, sometimes end up hurting others around them too.

p.s. I'd read your book Please keep the great insights coming.

Yeah, I really thought when I was younger that I might be bipolar or manic-depressive, but somehow I never quite fit the bill - I knew there was something there but had no name for it. Now that I understand it, it's so much easier to control. Channeling my energies and using calming techniques has been amazing for me. Not as good as a quick fix, but better for me in the long term.

yYyYy wrote:darn it.

*a HPD who couln't speak a sentence in English until 4 years ago here*

I want to get compliments too.
My descriptions are nice too if I speak mother language

a hpd who is also a great singer ^

but srsly, 5y, "feeding" in someone elses thread, not cool


edit: here is a link

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rn1TKBylLv

I had to venture to the darkest corners of this forum and to fight evil monsters to bring this link to you, so please do enjoy

To Op:

What you describe isn't specifically HPD. Your motivations for sex were not attention-driven (HPD), you just have an over-active sex drive, or a less pathologizing term, a high sex drive.

HPD does not = Over-sexed. HPD is about attention, where the HPD uses sex to get attention and sexual gratification may not even really be on their mind at all other than the gratification of the other.

-- Wed May 22, 2013 4:47 am --

xdude wrote:Torn, of all that you've written I got to say the thoughts about "hypomania" really stuck in my head.

For various reasons your thoughts on hypomania really 'clicked' with me; maybe a key aspect that I don't recall others talking about.

You know it's kind of interesting that people with bi-polar disorder sometimes refuse treatment because even though the lows aren't enjoyable, the manic phase often is enjoyed. Also true is that manic types can be inspired, driven, successful, so it's not all negative. The negative side is when manic's think/feel grandiose, even delusional, become reckless, etc.

Still, there is an old saying, Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Not surprisingly then manics, when they feel powerful, sometimes end up hurting others around them too.

p.s. I'd read your book Please keep the great insights coming.

Yes, what the op describes sounds more like hypomania, not HPD...