Confusion

I am new to this forum, and I am confused about any personality disorders that I may have. I was unsure which forum to post this is, so I chose this one.
I believe that I show symptoms of Cluster B Personality Disorders. HOWEVER, I have not ever been subject to severe emotional trauma. I was brought up in the Mormon church, and disagreed with it from a young age. My parents have, and still do, force me to go to church activities, which take up a large portion of my time, and which I believe have estranged me from them. We have "Seminary" many times a week, which I despise, but my parents insist that I'll thank them for it later. Summer camps and Activities are also forced. When transitioning schools, I was separated from my friends, because my parents believed it was a better school. On the subject of friends, I have very few, and only one who I "care" about. I care very little about most people, yet I crave their attention, and I long for sexual relations. I feel very shallow emotions, and tend to be very dramatic, and I wish for people to give me their attention.
But, I cannot find a root for that. I know that billions have so much harder lives than me, and I hate myself for being so weak. On the subject of that, I am a pathological liar, and have faked MPD in the past for attention. I do almost everything to get attention from people and I crave it so much, it seems like it's my only driving force.
So, I want to know if there is anything wrong with me, or if I am just a spoiled teenager who's been overindulged all his life.

I was a bit like you when I was younger. Now I know it's because my parents never showed real love.
they only showed me the rules I had to follow etc.

They were not horrible, .........just cold as ice.

I was desperately tryign to win approval and "love".......most of my life.

now this forum has helped me, even thoguh I come here to talk about someone much more

"screwed up" than I was.

Hope this helps.

I am a pathological liar, and have faked MPD in the past for attention. I do almost everything to get attention from people and I crave it so much, it seems like it's my only driving force

I have done more then "almost", things that haunt me including your example.
I never thought I would see something like this posted. How do you possibly tell someone out in the world?

MrMaloogleOogle

Hello and welcome

It's always difficult to answer a question like yours - hopefully not to frustrate you, but I would recommend you go see a psych professional who diagnoses such matters, because,

(1) probably most everyone here (certainly incl. me) is not such a professional,
(2) even if we were professionals, because we are all communicating through the internet, we would only get a partial picture of who you are... a true professional would want to interview you, see your expressions, talk to you, etc.,
(3) diagnosing yourself is far too subjective and so anyone can make a mistake about themselves,
(4) people usually aren't diagnosed with anything until they are at least 18 - maybe in some as late as 25, because adolescence and post-adolescence is a time when our personalities are still forming and any possible maladaptive behaviors might just naturally be 'grown out of.' A premature and wrong diagnosis might obstruct this natural process - we don't want that to happen.

Seeing how it has long-term implications, getting a psychiatric evaluation and diagnosis should be considered as similar, serious and important as getting a diagnosis for arthritis, lupus, maybe even cancer. So while we encourage everyone to express themselves here (and, be aware that 'normal' people often share disordered traits with disordered people), we don't do diagnosis - not wanting to mislead and harm anyone in the process.

But once again you are welcome here, to explore and express...

For this whole day, I was worried that everyone would tell me that I was a spoilt brat, and I tend to react badly to criticism in general. In addition, the reason I don't have many friends is because I almost always misjudge how close we are, and how appropriate making a sexual pass would be.
I am very interested in Psychology (especially Personality Disorders), so I would appreciate any feedback here.

MrMaloogleOogle wrote:For this whole day, I was worried that everyone would tell me that I was a spoilt brat, and I tend to react badly to criticism in general. In addition, the reason I don't have many friends is because I almost always misjudge how close we are, and how appropriate making a sexual pass would be.
I am very interested in Psychology (especially Personality Disorders), so I would appreciate any feedback here.

Say that you are a "spoiled brat" for what? Did I miss something?

I agree with the only way of really knowing what is going on is by getting professional help. You say nothing was ever traumatic? I suppose speaking for myself and most of us nothing ever was.. until we remember and find out what the root of all our individual issues are. Much of what you describe sounds like me and I'm sure many many others around here. I also understand your comment that so many are living lives so much harder then yours. I feel that too and then I say oh well screw it it's not their life I'm living it's mine. Who is to say who is in more pain than the other? Pain is Pain. Issues are issues, Crazy is Crazy and here we are all. (crazy = different). I do think there are most likely underlying issues that you just are not ready to either remember or deal with but as already said, I'm certainly know psych and would again recommend seeing someone professionally to find out what/why and more of what you are experiencing.

What I meant is that I come from a relatively stable background. My parents are happily married (although they did fight a lot when I was younger, and sometimes still today), and I feel like I am somehow exaggerating (which I have a tendency to do). I'm not even sure when I'm lying sometimes.

MrMaloogleOogle wrote:What I meant is that I come from a relatively stable background. My parents are happily married (although they did fight a lot when I was younger, and sometimes still today), and I feel like I am somehow exaggerating (which I have a tendency to do). I'm not even sure when I'm lying sometimes.

pathological liars believe their own lies so it's very hard to figure out what is truth and not at times.
I would venture to believe that many of us (ok yes me) come from perhaps more affluent backgrounds then others. Some more stable then others. Does that have anything to do with the issues we are all facing? To me it's totally irrelevant. PDs of every kind affect all colors,, all religions, all nationalities, all cultures, all socio economic groups, gay, straight, intelligent/not so intelligent, there is NO prejudice whatsoever.

I don't know what your truth is and what it is not. All I know is IF you feel there are things happening there are probably reasons they are happening and that is not what you have figured out yet. Professional help with take you down that path.

I was reading through Histrionic Personality Disorder, and I noticed that I check pretty much all the boxes.
As for the cause, two suggested are "Genetics and/or an authoritarian parent". My mother showed many aspects in her youth, and carries some now (we have talked about this, albeit briefly), and my dad was always kind of controlling when I was younger. We have always had a tumultuous relationship, with us having constant arguments.

MrMaloogleOogle wrote:I was reading through Histrionic Personality Disorder, and I noticed that I check pretty much all the boxes.
As for the cause, two suggested are "Genetics and/or an authoritarian parent". My mother showed many aspects in her youth, and carries some now (we have talked about this, albeit briefly), and my dad was always kind of controlling when I was younger. We have always had a tumultuous relationship, with us having constant arguments.

Now you're talking my language with a little N in there LOL..... but you really need to see someone for the help. Nobody on the forum can diagnosis you, or unfortunately me!!