iv never grieved!!!!

I lost my mum to cancer when i was 9 and almost ten years to the day this yr in feb my nan died(mums mum) she was like a mother to me since my mum died, she died suddenly when she went for a check up at the hospital she was recovirng from breast cancer,
the thing is it all feels really un real like now all these months later i still cant shed a tear an its almost like i dont care i know i do....but i cant grieve for her...i didnt shed a tear at the funeral! wierd!
ever since my mum died iv had ''problems'' anger problems mental problems, self harming, and now iv just been told by many close friends and work collegues i need to get help for my increasing weight loss, what they dont know is i may have been starving myself but not cos i want to jus because i dont want to eat i cant explain it it likes its right infront of me but i cant see it! i cant see how skinny i am! i think its all linked to my nans death and the fact that its eating me up(literally) i dunno wat to do has anyone had similar if so pls help!!

Hi there

This is just to offer you some support. I am in a terrible state of grief, don't know at all how to deal with it but have to as I have a little girl and a husband and am the breadwinner. I don't know about your eating difficulties, but I lost a lot of weight when my brother died. It was like shutting down, closing the system, preserving stasis. It was as if I didn't want to move in case reality happened too quickly. I still 'freeze' when life is bad and will be doing it a lot over Christmas...I hope things improve for you.

Martha

Hey,
I can tell you, not everyone grieves by crying, some people just hold the tears back or just can't seem to shed tears over the loss of a loved one, I know this for a fact. Three years ago I lost my aunt and my brother never shed a tear over the loss, but I know that deep down inside he hurt and he was sad. I have gone through phases where I wouldn't eat because I'm just so depressed. I still don't eat most of the time. I think it's a phase that you go through when in the grieving process. If you ever need to talk, feel free to e-mail me... my e-mail addie is in my profile.

~Jamie~