dreams

About a month ago, I lost someone very close to me in a car accident. It was very sudden. What's worse though is that he was very drunk when he crashed his car on the freeway. Adam had a lot of trouble up until he died. He had a lot of pain and anger and it just ate him up. We all feel like if we just said something to him, he'd still be here right now. We were all worried but we didnt really do anything about it. I feel guilty. Now I have nightmares about people I love dying and I cant do anything to help them but stand there and watch until I wake up. It's horrible. I know these dreams come from just feeling intense guilt and grief, but I still dont really know what to do. I feel like I dont want to sleep ever again.

Hey hun,
I don't know if you have browsed around in this forum or not, but if you have I'm sure you have read my posts.
I lost someone very close to me about 2 and a half years ago, the same way that you lost Adam. My aunt was killed in a drunk driving accident. She was 2 miles from her house when she crossed the center line and hit the trees on the other side of the road. My aunt was 37 when she died.
The nightmares are normal. I still have them from time to time, 2 and a half years later. I used to have them all the time when it first happened. I would purposely try to stay up later and later so I didn't have much sleeping time so I wouldn't get to dream as much. Trust me, not something that you wanna do. I got sick a lot due to the lack of sleep, every morning I would be sick, but I still would go to school and try to get through the day.
Anyways, I'm here if you need to talk.

~Jamie~

Dear Justadreamer, this is my explanation about this. Firstly i want to say this. First my mother dies before 10 years, my father dies before 4 years. After my mothers death, i have also feel guilt, but not like as i feel guilt after loss of my father, because we havent speek one year before his death. He was seek and he had cancer, i was know that he will die, but i havent think that he will die in that period. I was kid (but not so small), and i think that we could maybe later resign. One year after we ruffle, couple days after my birthday party, my best friend came to me and tell me that my father died. He was live with some other women and she havent told me and my brother that he is very sick for past ten weeks, and that is sure that he will die. I cant remember, i think i have nightmares couple times, but i also feel guilty because i havent tried to talk to him. I was kid, and my feelings was very differenet - i was restive and i havent believe that he will be dead soon. After this almost five years, i have lot of explanation: first i was kid, second before his sickness i was do all my best for him. He was alcoholic and that can cause destroy clear mind! Also when i feel some guilty, i go to hes grave and inflame candle. Tips: Try to talk with him in your room or on his grave, or try to write some diary, or some text, also you can go to church, anyway you must be strong and you must believe that we cant now what can be tommorow. Everytime - we must give all our best, how we can be satisfied and fullfiled. Please note that everything will be just Ok, think like that, believe in yourself, and always give your's best. That is life, something is ugly, and tiff and something must be good and makes you happy. Go on, dont be sad, try to explain your self, grief and guilty are something "normal" after difficult situation, and if you havent nightmares, it would means that you are not good person, also it means that you cares about it, it will stop, but just think about good things... everythings will be just fine!!! Believe me!!!

When my Grandpa was dying he was scared of hospitals, so I stayed with him, and slept on two chairs by his bed, well I kind of dozed because I wanted to make sure he was alright all the time, so everytime I started to sleep I jumped myself awake. For ages afterwards I would wake in the night and being checking my bed for my Grandpa, My Mum even came in and I said I can't find Grandad in my sleep, a terrible thing to say to my Mum, who was also in such a state, but I was still asleep.

The dreams have lessened now, but I get them sometimes, and I still miss him loads, that doesn't go away, but life happens and it just becomes a part of what makes you, you, a fragment of the whole.

Everyone feels guilt when they lose someone, it seems, it's just a horrible time, you just have to ride out, one day and a time.