abused as a child thus poor intimate ralsionships

i was abused my father had hit me hit my mom and was always yelling and shouting . we were living in an healthy family . as i grew up being constantly abused and unaware of the falso programming from abuse . i wanted to have a relasionship , i got interested in marriage so got married iguess all tthe abuse did not help me and not knowing how to effectivly form intimate relasionships . i got into arguments with my wife . i guess i was more mature she was still not mature but me being an adult child had specil curcumstances . in situations i had a honey moon on the honneymoon we got into an argument , i told her i was forced into this marriage and didnt really want you i gave her the truth that i kinda didn't know how to say no when her parents made me marry her indirectly not able to say no since i was not assertive i accepted but deep inside i had not wanted her but could not admit it at the marriage . once under pressure it came out. she got upset and we exchanged disrespect and cussed at each other when we got back from the honeymoon her parents came and took her to tell her to treat a husban properly my father was upset and said since they took her they had to bring her back they insisted i come take her eventually we all insisted and got seperated and divoriced afetr only 6 months of marriage i felt allot of greif and sorrow pain and hurting inside i lost someone i truly liked but some how i was confused and i lost her cause of this child abuse

Hi! I'm sorry you went through that, hurtingme. Neither of you deserved for your relationship to end that way. If you feel that it's because of the abuse, it's ok to trust those feelings and maybe try to get therapy to help with everything that happened. If you can't get therapy, you still have this place where you can talk. Your father had no right to abuse you.
This experience helped you grow and it made you stronger. Nothing will stop you from having a healthy relationship later on.

Hi,

You have articulated yourself really well.

No one can understand the pain and torment of a forced marriage (unless) they have been through it
themselves. I certainly can't imagine your situation as have never been married, yet losing someone you love and care for is a very traumatic event and takes time to heal from such an experience.

Not everyone who has suffered from childhood abuse have been very severely damaged by it. Your wife may have suffered from a variety of emotional and/or mental health problems as a direct result of her abuse as a child, and did not want to get the help and support she deserved? - a vast amount of childhood abuse survivors will likely get the therapy they need; yet the affect of such a traumatic experience can have lasting damage for many, but not all.

Perhaps she also felt under pressure from herself to get married? - some people want to get on with their lives and forget about their pasts, yet does not work out all of the time for everyone. The important thing here, is that blame causes bitter hostility if you reflect too much about what has happened between you, so learning to accept that you were both on different life journeys, instead of holding onto blames and regrets will help you deal with the loss far better? - your wife's past may have only contributed a small degree to the separation, there could have been other reasons that she did not fulfill your expectations of her, yet we are complex human beings with complex needs.

Your courage to move on and forgive her mistakes will strengthen your faith in being able to find other suitable women, holding onto something that didn't work might only make you feel less able to get over the loss.

I commend you for realizing what a major part of the issue is as this is the first step in beginning to move forward. Good healthy relationships can absolutely be in your future and I hope that you seek counseling to begin the journey to a better you. Being okay, good with yourself is important and that makes being in a relationship a bonus. You don't have to perpetuate the cycle of abuse - the choice is yours.

Its better to come to terms with your past and not make it part of you future. You are the captain of your own destinity.

I didnt come to terms with being emotionally abused by my parents untill I had my son. It was like a ton of bricks landed on me.Now I am working out my issues and trying to make peace with my inner demons.

good luck