Accepting life

I have found that creating new relationships is very difficult.
A friend once asked me " who said it would be easy?" and he was right, nobody has ever said that creating new relations in life was going to be like a walk in the park for anybody.

I think that some people have a greater ability to survive in their relationships without drama because they have a more secure inner core when it comes to building lasting relationships. How did they get this inner core of strength to form relationships? My theory is that it started good for them, they had good relationships in their family and therefore had a good start in communication between loved ones and people who symbolize ever lasting relationship and love.
Since i don`t have easy relationships in my family i fall out of that category, i have been struggling with my close relationships for years. The people i form a close relationship with after my family are all a symbol of what i once had or didn`t have in my family.
They are echoes of my last relationships.

I have written lots about my family in other threads so if you would like to read about them you can find it in my profile.
This thread is more of a confirmation if you like or a realization.
Most people who judge me for my statements about my family are people who haven`t had the same experience themselves.
Its out of the ordinary for them to put themselves in my shoes because they think they would have to climb into the same boat as i am in.
That isn`t really true...if you would like to spend your time building lego instead of listening to my problems, then i am ok with that. I only talk to people who care.
If you can care about a guy who has been in a car accident even though you haven`t been in one yourself, then i don`t think it would be so difficult for you to care about someone with family problems.
Much in life is about loyalty, if we don`t have it nothing will develop, evolve or enhance.
Being talked down at by the family is something i am tired of, when all communication in the family fails you turn to others in desperation.
The family will stick up for themselves and their own pride so you are still "in it", even though you are trying not to be.
Family conflict is the most difficult conflict a person can be in because you have it for life if its of a serious kind.
Most conflicts are solvable, our way was to break lose from each other.
Whether you have a problem understanding that or not is really not my problem.
What makes things even more difficult is that people are very sympathetic and want to be of aid. My last boyfriend saw that i had sorrow regarding my family and i think he wanted to help me with that by trying to make us friends.
That is not what i wanted and explaining that to him proved complicated because it required a deeper understanding that he didn`t have.
Accepting sounds so easy but is so difficult sometimes.