Help me: What do I say?

I'm really, really bad at this, I avoid it like the plague. It doesn't come naturally what to say in these circumstances because I just joke about everything.

I haven't spoken to my friend in ages, and I knew she was struggling with this boyfriend thing and uni was tough, but she just messaged me to say her father committed suicide, and how she blames herself and all she can thing about is how she could have done this and that differently, and she feels terrible for the last thing she said to him.

I know the normal thing might seem to say "I'm really sorry to hear that, don't blame yourself" but it sounds very weird, and I don't know what else to say.

Having lost my own father to suicide, I have a firsthand idea of what your friend is going through. At any rate if you really are her friend to have to put whatever uncomfortable feelings you experience aside. If you don't know what to say tell her so. The last thing someone in grief wants to hear is unsincere sympathy. Tell her that you are sorry for her loss. Tell her that you can't imagine what she is going through, but if she needs to talk you are willing to listen. Gently push her into seeking a support group. She will need one. My best to you and your friend.

Even now, I know something like "I'm sorry for your loss and that you had to go through anything like that" should come out. I feel terrible for anyone who's had any kind of loss, but to lose a parent is unimaginable. The words only feel insincere because everyone says them, and I never want anyone to think I'm just reading lines.
You can't convey in a written message exactly what you are feeling. But you understand, right.
Thank you for your advice, and I am sorry you lost your father.
I hope she will talk to me.

It might be of comfort for her to understand that her father was very very sick. That his death was due to illness and that it was not meant to hurt anyone. People only kill themselves if they are in extreme emotional pain and at that point there is nothing she could have done to help him. He didn't want help, he was too sick to listen. He just wanted the pain to stop. He did love her and she needs to remember him for who he was when he was well. We need to remember more than just how a person died-we need to honor how they lived.
With care,
One