can't get over it...

i lost someone a little over a year ago, but it was because i undermined myself into oblivion... i ruined the best thing that ever has and ever will come my way by completely sabatoging a perfect relationship which would've lasted the rest of my natural life. it's like i was a different person then. i was with this person for almost 7 years. 7 years they put up with my $#%^. i was loved THAT much and i blew it. i feel so guilty for mean things i said and did. it eats me alive every day. i've been through ALOT of $#%^, and i must admit this is the worst. i'm in hell. what was i thinking?

yeah sometimes it does happen to us and we don't know how to overcome things but, we do come to an understanding in our life that once we f***ed up we couln't go back! If you ever need someone to talk to lemme know. We can talk. i am a great listener and am very patient with others, not myself...LMAO!

thanx, george.

Hi there,
Sometimes we have to lose something before we gain something in our lives. You should be proud of yourself for acknowledging your wrongdoings, in the relationship. You've taken the first step. You said you've had alot of $#%^ happen to you in your life. Maybe if you talked about it, if you haven't yet, here online. Or goto someone, like a counselor or a friend. It might help you to understand why you do certain things. You can't beat yourself up over it for the rest of your life. Acknowledge what you did and (keyword here) LEARN from it. Things do happen for a reason and maybe losing that special someone was supposed to happen in order for you to finally open your eyes to some issues you have...I hope what I say makes sense to you dear. I hope things get better for you soon. Stacy

beautifulrose2u wrote: Things do happen for a reason and maybe losing that special someone was supposed to happen in order for you to finally open your eyes to some issues you have...

i ear often this and hope someone ,with a lot patience help me to accept, or show me how found courage to continue my life.

in 3 months i lost, not dead people,but the way things arrive, i thinks if they dead it easier to catch why never see again....

it start with my mother,we both relation make jalous certain person around because we really near.this mother built ,year after year a biggest world control to all part of my life.unconciously because i'm sick and fragile baby,she feel guilty, doesn't want child and all long pregnant,anxious,affraid,angry,sick, about to become like own mother who never show love, affection,and violent person.

100% direct opposite off that.....she give all what she have,never think of her , private herself to giving time,money,clothings,and work more to sure never lack-all.and she don't forget be best submit wife never disturb the father,but i'm special child who needs all attention,and specially from this men. push him limit often and have slog belt punition many times.my mother,i think,play the saint women ,because when you saint person everybody love you ,and have compassion.

i didn't want to take all the places,i gonna resume sorry

all my life i think the problems is my dad,we both adjust all things since 6 years.realize how my mother give me her culpability and keep the poor women image because she have a rebel ,angry,drug abuse and totally out of control daughter,doing nothing in life.that traumatise me,this fabulous mother give me all i want ,pay my bill ,my rent ,my drugs debt ,take care when i'm sick,she doing things for me when it look like to complicated for me.

so, pression to do something in my life,that the problems.....i never learn what autonomy, in 32 years old i have the hardest rought time in my life ....and i think this all $#%^ (with all work i do )it finish soon ahahahahah you understand i'm not sure stay get up if other emotional events (i lost my first serious relation off all time (1 years )after mother broking and lost the only friends i think it's the best i ever had,she write me letter and blame me with my weakness and feel me really like i'm nothing ,with my neverendings down (after she know what pass in my relation family and love)

sorry to all throw up my sadness here ,have nobody around ready to take this big emotional bags,and anyway some people say go to take information about personality disorder and then catch nothing.
i have psychologist but i'm shame to tell him ,for the x times,fall again and take drug ...reality make me suicidal and more confused
thanks all