An Unusual kind of grief and loss

Let me start by explaining how I live an unusual life. I have not left my house (gone to the store, rode in a vehicle nothing) for many years in a row. I have a strong social fear, even of my own family. Any social behavior or communication can distort my comfort zone, and my concentration greatly. I am in my mid 20's.

My concern is this - When a character dies in a story, I feel as if it were real. I morn and feel a great loss inside me, as if I knew them. When anyone dies, fact or fiction, I simply can not handle it. Not only does it feel like a real and genuine loss, but it is embarrassing to talk about it. The only reason why I can discuss it here, is because I am simply anonymous, and I have no fears unless it would be a live, real time interaction with someone else.

It is difficult to heal, when a loved one has died. It is worse, when the death is not even real. I keep wanting to beg the writers of this particular story to not destroy this character for my own selfish relief.

I am mostly concerned about my own safety. Is this a symptom of going insane? In a strange way, I enjoy being this way. You may thing it is silly and childish that I even dare to ask help, even though I enjoy this. I do enjoy this emotional pain, but I fear it is so strong that it may harm me in some way. I am very lost and confused, and I would like some ideas of what condition that I may have. Thank you.

Hi, Shane25! I'm not sure about what you could call your condition, but it might be due to the fact that you're an introverted person and you don't have contact with other people from "the real world". Maybe this is how your need for human interraction and deep emotions manifests itself. Do you think that these deaths could be reminding you of something traumatic from your past?

As mentioned, I believe you are an introvert who has trouble forming real relationships with others. You imagine an idealistic relationship/friendship with these characters who you can more easily relate to. It's a fantasy you can easily create because there is less difficulty and disappointment as with real relationships.

There is nothing to be ashamed about. I've often wanted to get to know actors imagining me being on set with them or actually meeting and knowing them in person. It's perfectly normal. The extent of your attachment and dependency could cause you problems as you fear.

Real relationships are more sustainable and rewarding because they take more work. It's more difficult because you can't always control how things happen. But that's part of the reward because you are always getting challenges you weren't anticipating. You eventually steer yourself toward healthy relationships so the meaningful surprises you get along the way are well worth it.

I would think about talking to a therapist (if you are able without being too self conscious) to get help with this.

Hey Shane,

Let's see if I can throw in my two copper--as someone who used called Ironforge "home", before I moved to Orgrimmar.

How long have you been experiencing this? If this has started fairly recently (a year or two), I would actually see it as a good sign of progress, and here is why:

I think that your mind is exploring new feelings. To me, it seems that you are thirsty for human interaction. Your brain is experimenting with real human emotions in a safe environment. I think that this is an ideal time for you to consciously differentiate between what is real and what is fantasy. It's a risk, and it might involve some discomfort, but to me, this is a sign that you are ready to move your relationships into a more real "world." These forums might be a good starting point for you.

To illustrate my point, here is an episode of "The Nanny." For brevity, just watch Part Three. I'm not making fun of you, nor am I making light of what you're feeling. It just seems that, since you identify with fictional characters, the sitcom would be a good illustration.

Part Three: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubtbmCm9 ... 0&index=44

If you feel like watching the rest of the episode:
Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBNZ32zK ... re=related
Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgdfpqWg ... re=related

In other words, I think that your processing of the deaths of characters you're attached to is a sign that you're 1) ready to move on, and 2) ready to experience real-life risk and loss.


By the way, I've been "clean" of World of Warcraft for almost a year now--and I'm actually enjoying real-life interactions a lot more than their fictional counterparts.

I wish the same for you.