Struggling grieving coping feeling ashamed

Is it wrong and selfish to grieve?? Shouldn't I be happy that they're gone and possibly not hurting? That they don't have to deal with the world, depression, financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, emotionally, struggling??

Missing and grieving feels narcissistic and selfish. It feels all about me instead of them.

Hello tiddy.
I wouldn't say grieving is selfish or narcissistic, but I can see where you're coming from.
It's a very philosophical question to try and make sense of.
Losing something is a very traumatic, life-changing experience for people.
If people didn't grieve, can you imagine how selfish life would seem once a person had passed away?
i.e:
It would all seem so callous as we did "whatever" to our deceased loved ones, to dispose of them in a carefree manner?
If we didn't care, that's how things might be?
There would be no cemeteries to visit your loved ones etc, because nothing would matter?
People would die in wars, famine, etc, and nothing would matter?
There would be no hospitals, because death, pain etc wouldn't matter?
Furthermore,
Having a person around one day, to not having them there the next can be a real shock to the system.
like losing part of ourselves.
To miss a person's smile, to hear their voice, to see them laugh, to be on the receiving end of those friendly hugs that help us all through life is in my view not narcissistic or selfish, these are all human needs. But this does go back to that question, that our needs are our own.
hmm!
I hope the following is not offensive:
When we have a negative view of this world, (I know I do, very similar to your own) it's very easy to question whether death is a better place than having to deal with what can feel like a "brutal existence" at times.
I'd certainly be interested to read any further thoughts you have on this.

It is not selfish to grieve at all never think that.