baby issues

my brother (twin) moved in with his girlfirend just a few months ago maybe a year now and then she became pregnant but the baby had a lot of problems and was then a stilborn at 9months pregnant ashlee (the baby) just gave up fighting and it really hurt them me every1 and she didnt greive but my brother went to ashlee's grave everyday and put flowers on her grave and spoke to her!

then just months later she started to grieve so they had to move back in with her mother as that is where she felt best and our mom had kicked him out 2!

but now just a few months on 10months she has found out she is pregant again i dont no what to make of it wether it will be good or bad?

how do you see it?

celebrate the new pregnancy as a new baby. But do not invalidate the importance of the first baby.

Your brother will be scared, maybe in denial for a while too. He won't be able to let himself love this new pregnancy like he did the other for fear of getting hurt all over again.

Congratulate them, but with an edge of sympathy too.

Don't say "It'll be alright." You don't know that. All you can say to re-assure them if they look like they need some reassurance is to say that the odds of having a wonderful pregnancy and baby are on their side. What happened to them before is not the norm, and that everyone can pray and wish the best for the new beautiful baby.

Never, ever, suggest that this baby is a replacement - never.

If you are so inclinced, let them now this baby is lucky to have an older angel sibling to watch over it.

I wish your brother well, losing a child is the most horrible thing to have happen.

jennie_789 wrote:my brother (twin) moved in with his girlfirend just a few months ago maybe a year now and then she became pregnant but the baby had a lot of problems and was then a stilborn at 9months pregnant ashlee (the baby) just gave up fighting and it really hurt them me every1 and she didnt greive but my brother went to ashlee's grave everyday and put flowers on her grave and spoke to her!

First off, its hard to always know what a mother feels when she loses a baby. She may appear not to grieve, but be hurting on the inside. Then, later the grief will be expressed, when it is less overwhelming.

then just months later she started to grieve so they had to move back in with her mother as that is where she felt best and our mom had kicked him out 2!

My point exactly. She was finally able to confront the loss and allow herself to grieve.

but now just a few months on 10months she has found out she is pregant again i dont no what to make of it wether it will be good or bad?

how do you see it?

It is perfectly natural for a young couple to try again to have a baby after the loss of the first one. Of course, they may have more anxiety about the outcome because of the sad outcome of the first pregnancy, but with proper pre-natal care and emotional support this second pregnancy should work out fine for all concerned.

Hi,

The whole family has went through one of lifes's most crushing events. I hope that with this baby that the dr's are naturally watching the pregnacy much closer.

my heart goes out to you and all your family. Welcome this pregnacy like the first, Grief is a very personal thing. The new parents need alot of emotional support.

Bless your family and the new niece or nephew

Red

thanks to all your replies i will take them on board and let them no what your feeling and how i should handle this!

thanks again i no grieveing is a bad thing well a good thing too but having actually seen the baby she was carrying for 9months is horrific i mean i had 2 miscarriages but i coped well and i no she has been so strong to cope with the loss and actually seeing her baby girl but at least we all know she has gone to rest in peace!