Am I normal? Selfish? Sick?

at the request of the poster, this post has been removed.

-Angel (moderator)

You're perfectly normal. Welcome to the wonderful world of grief. You need to face your grief. You have a right to grieve, to feel the way you do, regardless of whether or not you were married. You lost someone you cared about. Don't listen to those well meaning but misinformed people who think you can just "get over it". That won't happen. Talk to a counselor or friend or someone. Do whatever it takes to face your grief and come to terms with it. It won't be easy. Good luck.