MY PETS DIED AND IT'S MY FAULT. I AM FEELING HORRIBLE.

Hello everybody.
I write here because I am in the grip of deep despair. I'm in complete derealization and I'm freaking out. I'm not even English or American, in fact I had to translate this. But I desperately need psychological support. First of all I tell you that this may seem overdramatic but I swear it is not. Yesterday three of my pets died: three exotic birds (zebra finches). I have had them for a long time and I am EXTREMELY fond of them. They were a piece of the family, a piece of me. They have different ages, so I tell you right away that this is not death by old age. They died of cold. Frozen to death, I suppose. Now you are wondering, "yes, but where did you keep them?" At home. in a room of the house, where however it is not possible to turn on the heating, therefore the temperature in winter is lowered below 13 degrees Celsius. (at night I think it reaches 10 degrees Celsius) In fact, they have always been very good, super lively and active, also because they are resistant birds and in any case they have feathers and the important thing is to protect them from themperature changes. But yesterday, as soon as I went to give them water, I saw all three of them lifeless, at the bottom of the cage. My blood freezes. And from there, I never stopped crying and despairing. I think I can't convey the feeling I felt. Of the complete kind of stunning, derealization. I had them for several years, they each had a name and I was super super affectionate. BUT THE WORST PART IS THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING HAS BEEN MY FAULT. IT'S ONLY MINE. My mother never wanted me to take them to the warmer rooms, due to lack of space, but I should have insisted on finding other solutions. I KNEW THAT IT WAS COLD. BUT I DID NOTHING HOPING THAT EVERYTHING WENT WELL. I will never ever forgive myslef. I loved them with all my heart,really. the sense of guilt corrodes my soul as acid, because I KNOW FOR SURE it could be avoided. I don't know what to do, seeing the empty cage and no longer listening to their calls full of life in the morning, it fills me with pure negativity. I would like to go back in time but, unfortunately, it will never be possible, and I have to bid them goodbye forever. My heart is in pieces, the fault was mine and now I live in a complete state of estrangement. And I would like to see them again, to hear them sing, but they are already buried under the ground, because of me. Thank you very much in advance for the support.

Try to understand that this was an accident. You never intended this to happen.
Loss of pets can be devastating. Honor their memory and their life by feeding other birds.
Best of luck to you.

Wally58 wrote:Try to understand that this was an accident. You never intended this to happen.
Loss of pets can be devastating. Honor their memory and their life by feeding other birds.
Best of luck to you.

Thank you. It's hard.

Hey I can feel it, it was an accident. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can understand your pain and miserable situation. All you can do for your pets is to honor them and their memories. It's gonna be okay.

“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”
― Lois Lowry,

Hang in there!

sophie8967 wrote:Thank you. It's hard.

It'll get better over time. I know what I'm speaking of, since I killed a pet by accident myself. I still remember, but as I say: It'll become better over time.