My Rabbit Died

Right now, it's winter break, and since I'm an out of state college student, I'm visiting home with my parents, and my housemates are watching my pets.

Which is usually fine, they've been watching my cat for the past 2.5 years and my rabbit for the past year when I travel all the way back home.

But this time, one of my roommates called me up during the afternoon last week; apparently they checked on my rabbit, who free roams in my (rabbit-proofed) room, and she had died. They hadn't noticed her being sick before; she was eating, drinking, and running around. Her poops were normal, there was no sign of vomit or injury; she looked like she was sleeping. It gets really cold up there in the winter, but I had been keeping my room warm (I was worried she would overheat but my roommates said it hadn't been too hot in there)

So, we don't know WHY she died, but now she's been dead for about a week. And I've been able to (unhealthily) ignore the situation because I haven't been up there, but I go up there this Saturday. And I can't ignore it up there, because she lived in that room with me.

Rabbits are supposed to live for a long while, and I honestly thought I'd be having her well out of college; I had gotten her when she was still little, after all, so it wasn't like I didn't know her age and surprise, she was old. And I trust my housemates with my pets, we look after each others' pets all the time.

For once in my life, my BPD isn't making my brain shift the blame onto my roommates and having me split on them, and I can't think of anything that I did wrong, so I'm just upset and confused, and ultra stressed because I'll be forced to deal with it when I go back up there in a few days.

Her name was Shani Kura, and she was a small white rabbit with red eyes; she hated it when I cleaned out her cage, and if I got even a piece of bedding where she didn't want it, she would make a show of moving it. If she even detected something she didn't like, she would flick her feet, but then her body language would be fine maybe ten minutes later. She was very sweet, and she would lie down on a large quilt of mine that I kept in the middle of the room.

I miss her very very much, and I don't know what I'm going to do.