i’m 18 and have no life or friends

i struggle so much with motivation and energy. i’m 18, autistic and have borderline personality disorder.. i also have no friends or life. i have interests, i want to learn pottery, learn how to make much own clothes, but i just don’t have the money to learn to get into them. so i just give up. i have no idea what to do with my days, i left school at 14 due to mental health and made no friends since leaving school .. i feel like a failure. everyday passes me. i either sleep the day away since it hurts less like right now, being away and a failure.. what do i do with my life when i have no life? i feel like giving up. i’m ashamed and disappointed in myself.

PS i’ve been on forums like this before, please be nice to me since other people have just told me to “try harder”. i do try, i just find it hard.

thank you

There are skilled trades like welding and plumbing where they pay you as you learn them. If you're interested in any of those it would be a way to solve your money problems and give you a hobby to learn at the same time. It might be hard to get a job if you're a high school dropout, but it depends on your area. In many places the trades are understaffed because too many people are going to college nowadays.