I still need him.. for awhile longer...

have hesitated to post this, feeling a bit foolish. And I do feel a bit silly. But that's okay. I don't want to minimize what I need to ask for.

It's about my dog, Oliver. A mini dachshund (the best breed of dog in the world, in case you didn't know ). A rescue dog I and my children got six years ago who quickly wiggled his way into each of our hearts. He was part of a 2-fer package. What's a 2-fer? Where you get two for the price of one of something. All my daughter wanted for her birthday years ago was a little female dachshund of her very own. I looked and looked for one but they were all pedigreed for about $450 - $800. As a single mom raising kids for whom I'm 100% financially responsible, I couldn't in good conscience spend that money, even if I'd had it. So we just kept looking... and looking... and one day, a vet advertised that she had a female dachshund who had outlived her use by a puppy-mill breeder, and had been dumped on the vet to 'put down'. The vet wouldn't do it, and advertised for a great home for the dog; that's how we beat out many other callers and got Margaret, "Maggie" for short. There was a catch, tho. She had a best friend and they could not be parted - that's the 2-fer business - and so that how we got "Oliver" too. Oliver, the best weiner dog in the world.

I've never loved a dog like I do Oliver, and I've had plenty of dogs. Kids feel the same way. You know how there is just something special about some dogs, or pets, the way that there sometimes is just something special about certain people? Well, that's Oliver.

Over this last weekend, I saw Ollie having difficulty walking on his rear feet. By the time we got him to the vet on Monday, he was partially paralyzed in the rear, still capable of walking but walking like a drunken sailor, wobbling and stumbling and collapsing and crossing over his legs.
Xrays, blood work later, Ollie has ruptured 2 disks in his back and they are pressing on his spine. This is not uncommon for doxies - their length makes for an unstable back. Drat the eugenics/geneticists who decided to create a breed with built-in back problems. Anyway, he is now on 5 meds and must be kept in strict confinement with very little mobility for 2-3 weeks. At that point, the meds will stop and maybe the disks will have healed.

Worst case is that paralysis will set in and he will have to be put to sleep. Next best is that disks will heal in part, and he will still walk herky-jerky and for short distances only. Next best is that he might regain more function in his back legs. Best case is complete recovery altho that's not likely. The next 1-2 weeks are critical in that paralysis could come at any time - if he's not paralyzed by then, he probably won't be paralyzed.

I am with him 24/7. If I am out of his sight, he tries to walk to me. I've tried confining him in a small area of the garage, but his cries are too heartwrenching, and he'll cry without ceasing and move too much(increasing the risk of paralysis by wrenching his back) trying to get out to get to me. So he and I are joined at the hip. What makes it so very difficult (besides the emotional part for our family) is that he now sleeps with me so that I can tell when he needs to pee/poo. He can't walk so I have to get up 3-4 times ea night when he signals and take him outside where he struggles to 'go'. It reminds me of when my kids were infants and I was on call 24/7. But at least then, they wouldn't come down the hall, dragging their rear to find you (and possibly re-injuring the site by the exertion). I'm exhausted from not sleeping, and from not being able to get out of the house, go run or hike, even go to the grocery store. I'm going out tomorrow to buy a small baby playpen that I can move around the house to keep him confined but also so he can still see me. I also need to get back to work soon, as well. I can postpone my clients for a week, but two weeks is too much. But I love this dog. He's important to me, and to my kids. He's a part of our family. Even more than that, for me, I feel like I still need him, if you know what I mean.

So, why am I posting this, I've asked myself.
I guess just to hear that you understand - that pets are important - that you love yours too - that it's okay to put life on hold for awhile for a 'darn dog' - to share a bit of my worry and uncertainty over what might happen - to just be there with me right now.
I know that whatever happens will ultimately be okay, but I'm not feeling very philosophical right now. I just love this dog.

Seems silly, even to me. But really, it isn't.

LifeSong

LifeSong,

Not silly to me; I understand perfectly how pets become an integral part of the family and our hearts.

I hope Oliver recovers and you can get some sleep. I believe that the worth of a person can often be measured by their treatment of the old, the young, and their pets.

Good luck...

N.

Hi, LifeSong,
Look at these links. I especially like the E-Bay one.

http://www.instructables.com/id/EESY539XVAEP286I1T/
http://www.k9carts.com/cart.html
http://cgi.ebay.com/DOG-CART-WHEELCHAIR ... dZViewItem
Even if Oliver becomes unable to ever use his rear legs again, he could still get about in the dog wheelchair. While he heals, this would provide him with mobility, and cheer him up.

Thank you, nymenche, for understanding me.
And thanks puma for great links. I'm looking each up right now.
LifeSong

Lifesong,

It's not silly at all.

As someone who worked for vets for 10 years, I can tell you I HAVE seen Doxies and Bassets recover from this. A dedicated owner is often what made the difference.

Laurel

Hi
I joined this forum specifically because your post touched me deeply. I lost a little Chinese Crested named Oliver about 6 years ago and I still cry when I think of him which is often. I have 2 other Cresteds and they adore me and I love them but Oliver was my soulmate. It is a bummer when your soulmate has 4 legs and even worse when he has to be put down to stop his suffering. Oliver (same name as your little dog) went into 100% kidney failure and was in agony and couldn't be saved. I was present when he was born and he was the runt of the litter and always had health problems. It doesn't help to tell myself that he lived 15 years because of the wonderful care and love he received. I still cry. My son bought another crested for me about 4 years ago and I love him dearly but still can't stop thinking of Oliver. I also lost my husband 4 years ago and my mom 3 years ago this January so this is a bad time of the year for me. I promised my mom that I would decorate a tree and take it to her grave every year at Christmas and it honestly tears me to pieces when I have to do it. Other than my dogs, she was the only one who truly loved me and I was her caregiver for a while before she passed. She died at the age of 97 but, as with Oliver, it doesn't really help to tell myself that she lived a long life and I get angry because people keep telling me that I have grieved long enough. At least I believe that both my mom and Oliver are with the Lord and I will one day see them again. That definitely helps keep me going. Will pray for your little doxie and never apologize to anyone about your feelings for your animals. They are a gift and they love so unconditionally and it is sad that people are not more like them.

Hi, morgainelefay,
I had to Google what is a Chinese Crested. Never heard of that breed before, in fact I thought it was a type of bird, until I read the rest of your post.

That is extra cute.
There are alot of animal lovers here.
Our pets fill a void and give us someone to have eye contact with and share warm affectionate intimacy. How long one grieves is an individual thing. The Holidays do tend to be rough. That is when it is especially nice to have the comforting company of our pets.

Hi Puma
Yes, that is what the puppies look like. My Oliver was the most wonderful dog I ever encountered and I am a true animal lover. He did seem truly human and could definitely communicate his emotions, wants and needs. They are a wonderful breed of dog--not at all yappy and very intelligent. Morgan, the crested my son bought for me after Oliver was gone, is sitting on my lap as I type. I adore him. Hard to explain but Oliver was truly my little 4 legged soulmate and heaven is much richer for having him there. Some days the only thing that helps me to get out of bed is knowing that Oliver is with my mom in heaven and I will see them again and I know that they are running and laughing and playing and experiencing total joy and happiness.

Oliver died a week ago. It is still hard to accept. I think that my son (17 years old) is taking it harder than am I.
Funny how an animal wiggle their way so deeply into your life, and into your heart.
We have two other dogs.. both excellent dogs...
... but I'm telling you.. there was just SOMETHING about Oliver.
Anyway, it's a loss and our family feels the loss deeply.

Dear LifeSong,
I am sorry to hear that Oliver died.
The heart does not make the distinction between one species and another when it comes to love.
I have some cats, that when I inevitably outlive them, it will grieve me deeply, as much if not more than grieving for another human being.