Another death in the family (my second cousin)

OK, for those of you that don't know, over the past several year I've lost quite a few family members due to various causes.
My 46 year old second cousin died early Friday morning. She had been in the hospital that is 2 hours from here for about 2 weeks and then she was finally able to come back to town and she was put in a nursing home. Thursday she started to slip into a coma and she passed away early Friday morning. She died of liver failure.
OK, so I certainly wasn't ready to deal with another loss in my family. I'm still trying to get over the loss of my aunt 3 years ago. I barely cried Friday, only cried for about 10 minutes about 3 hours after we got the call. The funeral is Tuesday morning.
Anyways, I have to go.

~Jamie~

gremlingirl14~

Sorry about your family losses. I have had several losses in the last several years myself. I lost my father in 00' and my only sibling (sister) whom I cared for for 3 years until her death in 02'. I lost my mother when I was 19. At age 36 I had no family left. I am not married.

I know when you have so many losses so close together it is easy to become numb. It is almost a defense mechanism so that you do not have to go through so much pain at one time. I know many people say this but go to a support group for grief & loss or counseling. I felt like I had put my life on hold for so long taking care of my sister I though that I could just pick up where I had left off and life would be ok again. (I had lived a very active life before I began to care for my sister.) But nothing was the same and I was lost and I felt so isolated and for the last 4 years I have done nothing with my life because I never dealt with my losses or thought I had to. I was depressed and sedentary and started loosing other things in my life that I did have control of. In March my Aunt who was the only extended family that I had regular contact with was killed in a car accident, then I lost my girlfriend of 7 years because she could no longer deal with my depression and my unwillingness to do anything about it. It was like all the losses of the last 6 years came crashing down on my head at once. I am dealing with things now, or at least trying to.
I guess I'm just trying to say don't put off the grief no matter how painful. It is healthy to feel it, you need to feel it and share it. You never know what is around the next corner good or bad and if you are carrying too much pain you will not be able to deal with the next loss or enjoy the next good thing that comes your way.

Love and Peace to you,

cJo

Hey,
Well, the funeral was about a week ago. It went alright. I've been a little depressed since the day we found out that my cousin died, but I'm holding in there, I guess. I just hope that I can at least get to be back to the cheerful hyper person that I had been for a while before my cousin died. *sighs* I don't know, but I really appreciate that I can turn here for support. I've been talking to a few people since my cousin died and I'm feeling better, but there's still times when I feel like I just have had too much to deal with in my life and this pushed me over the edge in a way. I don't know, but anyways, I have to go.

~Jamie~